21f [F4F] #boston - looking for a dom for mentorship

Hi Everyone,

I’m finally coping with my desires/kinks and need mentorship. I’m 21f, 4’7(yes, very short) and medium figure.

When I was very young I did some stuff with my friends(nothing outrageous, just some light commanding) which later on I was trained to view as taboo. As I grew I matured sexually and wanted to explore but everything I like was super taboo and since I already felt guilty from the things I did at childhood I got discouraged and never sought a relationship. The normal vanilla just sounded so wrong. Now I’m 21 not having done nothing.

I’m kinda finally making peace with myself and my wants but still need guidance. I’m over the taboo of it but now I’m struggling to believe there is someone out there that wants to be on the receiving end of what I want. So I’m hoping to find a dom that’s selling to teach me the ropes so to speak.

About me: the most important to me is authenticity and genuineness. I just got off the mindset that I’m cruel, bad and a monster so if I do something that someone consented to but later on find out they actually didn’t really want it and only did it because they felt pressured, it’ll be a problem. I don’t like labels, find them boxing and don’t think they determine you forever, but I do think they are useful for communication so I’ll use them. I’m bi, and dom and top. With domination, I just can’t imagine being a sub but don’t need absolute domination all the time. Topping same thing, I might ask my sub/pet/slave to please me in certain ways where they are moving but it won’t be topping topping. Okey sometimes I am a bit(of an extreme) sadist but it really only comes out once in a while. And the biggest thing for me is obedience and complete dedication and commitment(not necessarily long term). I just love when I tell someone to do something and they put they head down and do, even more when they notice me watching them and suddenly get shy and anxious. I just feel like fucking their mouth right away. I don’t mind brats but I feel like they will bring the worst out of me and I don’t to try it before I’ve wetted my feet a little.

In men: I like pegging. I see a man’s round ass and my mind goes crazy imaging them arching their backs while I’m pounding their meaty hole. Just imagine their skin sticking and glide tightly around the dildo. Obviously I never actually stare I just notice and turn my face around immediately not daring to look their way ever again.

In women: I love tits. I could suck on them all year round.

What I’m looking for: I just need to wrap my head around other people being into the opposite of what I like. Every time I see someone say they are a sub or a slave etc I feel like they are lying. I want another dom to show me that their sub is actually liking it. I want to learn how to tie ropes safely. I want to actually learn what to expect from the other person in real life. I want someone to be there for my first time doing anything because I’m scared I’ll hurt someone. I’d need female dom with any sub male or female. Please teach me how to go about this. It’s been long enough and I’m really tired of denying myself and trying to conform to everyone else’s norms.