I'm going to try something new here, and just speak from the heart, because I think there might be someone who's looking for the same thing as I am. I realize this reads like the post of someone who might get way too attached way too quickly. Honestly, I'm a bit guilty of that. But I promise I'm not going to start love-bombing. I'm a relatively normal dude, I swear. I just know what I want, so I'm going to go for it.

Look, I know you're out there. From the bottom of my heart I know you are. I don't know what you look like yet, or what your name is, but I know you are out there. And I am so tired of looking for you. Every time I get a new chat request I think it might be you finally reaching out. Every time I read a good ad on this sub I think maybe, maybe it's you this time.

And every single time, it's not.

I'm so tired of searching. Nobody wants to read a post full of self pity, but I'm hoping this strikes a chord because you feel the same way. Like you know that there is this... missing piece of you out there somewhere and you've poured over every ad, read every post, looked under every couch cushion and it just hasn't turned up.

So, love. Sweetheart. Angel. Light of my life. The woman who will hold my heart in her hands. I hope to God you are reading this post because I don't know how many more of these I have left in me. If this doesn't work, I'm going to let my friend hold the "kinky bachelor" competition she proposed.

Let me describe myself and we'll see if I sound like your missing piece. As the title suggests, I'm 28. I'm in my last year of a difficult grad program that has given me a hint of grey in my temples that I could swear wasn't there a few months ago. I'm white, with a crooked nose. I'm told I have a nice voice, nice hands, and a nice smile. Pale blue eyes, dirty blond hair. I'm husky rather than built, tall, and prefer to listen rather than speak.

I read, a lot. I know that's a common claim but I read a lot. Science fiction, fantasy, historical fiction, non-fiction, all of it. I go camping with a group of friends, I go fishing, and I'm a competitive shooter. I'd rather drive than fly. I play some video games. I like good TV and bad movies. I'd rather watch a comedy than a horror. I listen to music at my desk, and podcasts when I drive (usually).

My green flags are that I have several close friends, am close with my family, my cat loves me, and I think I'm generally a pretty decent person. Hardly perfect, but who is. I'm about to complete the aforementioned difficult grad program, and have a few different job offers for when I graduate.

My red flags are that I'm a weird combination of standoffish and clingy. I'll want to talk to you all day, but my battery drains quickly if I have to carry the conversation. So if you can just... talk for hours, I'll sit there and listen to the whole thing with a smile on my face. Yap at me. I like it, I promise. I can be possessive, and blunt, and I'm not always the best at reading people.

I'm hoping I haven't lost you yet, because I'm thinking I should describe you a bit, and hope that it rings true.

You're somewhere between the ages of 22 and 28. Those are soft boundaries, so please let me explain my reasoning behind them. I am looking for you. Not a one-night-stand, not a hookup, not a casual play partner. So I want someone who is in roughly the same stage of life as me.

You're emotionally mature, you can communicate what you want, you don't expect me to be a mind reader because I'm afraid that is not one of my talents.

You're smart, and driven, and willing to actually accomplish things instead of just thinking about them. I have goals and dreams that I want to accomplish in life, and I want to be with someone who has those too. I want us to be each other's cheerleader. I'm not intimidated by success, I revel in it.

You're attractive. My type runs towards petite or svelte. It's shallow, and it flies in the face of what I've spoken about so far, but we both know attraction is a part of what we look for in a partner so I'm not going to lie and pretend it doesn't matter. It does. But of course, this road goes both ways. If we swap selfies and I'm not your type, then thank you for your time. All I ask is that you don't ghost me, because I hate that feeling.

You like to laugh, and you want someone who can make you laugh.

You like staying in more than going out, but that doesn't mean you don't like a night out.

You're either in the United States, or open to relocating here if things go well. I've previously held very firm to a "close to Baltimore" policy, but consider this me flinging the doors open. It's clear that you're not close by, not yet. That's fine. If you're not close, then you're willing to make long-distance work. I mean regular voice calls, video calls, making the effort. I hate long distance, not because I hate voice and video calls (on the contrary) but because I want to hold you in my arms. So I will grit my teeth and bear long distance, for you.

You're monogamous, or monogamish. I'm open to the idea of adding a third as an occasional play partner, but I'm also perfectly happy, and I mean perfectly happy, with the thought of never so much as looking at another woman apart from you.

Since I'm kinky, you're submissive, or a switch, and a masochist. Whether you've been in kink for 10 years and know everything there is to know, or you're a relative beginner, I really don't care. We can discuss our kinks and limits in private. I tend to subscribe to a "I'll try anything once" policy. It might not do anything for me, but if it makes you happy, I'm probably willing to do it.

I hope you see this.