Do you feel a genuine compulsion to submit? A yearning to comply with the will of another? To have your mind and body be contorted, controlled and contained - your definitions and expectations decided for you? If so, you might make a good pet, and we may have something to talk about.

In the real world, I’m polite, soft spoken, patient and somewhat aloof. In a relationship, I’m arrogantly confidant, I know exactly what I want, I am not patient about it, nor do I tread particularly lightly making it happen.

I don’t want you to be your own thing, because in my mind, you’re mine. That’s what you need to believe, too, because no amount of arrogant belief makes it true if the other person doesn’t also believe! So that’s what you have to show me, that you have the ability to serve as pet to an owner, that you reject your independence and choose ownership. My ownership over you.

Because I enjoy having the power and freedom to be cruel, to objectify, demean, and humiliate as if they were normal forms of interaction. If you are in the right place, you understand that, and actually want to be on the receiving end of it. To you it’s not merely ‘interaction’ but demonstrable ‘affection’.

Here your pleasure is derived from service, from the possession and ownership, and even your suffering. You are here to serve, so you will be denied other forms of stimulation – your denial is key, and my usage of you is almost entirely going to be focused on (after your mind), the back of your throat. If you’re not happy to puke for my amusement, you aren’t my kind of pet, frankly.

As for me: I am 5’9, white, and have blue/grey eyes, with a long beard and a slight dad-bod, but overall quite trim and generally considered to be attractive.

So, it’s over to you, the pet. If you think you’re a good fit, follow the instructions and message me. Send a photo of the word ‘apple’ written across your bare stomach with your opening message. Say who you are, and state your age, as a minimum.