Hi, and Happy New Year!

This is a long post, so please carry on reading if you're a single man aged 40 or above.

I'm a sapiosexual, and I find intelligence very hot. When I say intelligence, I mean someone who is articulate and enjoys deep and meaningful conversations. The conversations can be silly, fun, vanilla and spicy. It’s not just about “knowing a lot” or being book-smart—it’s also about emotional intelligence, curiosity, and being able to hold a conversation that goes beyond small talk. Humour and wit? Even better. 😄 Am I alone in this, or do others here feel the same way? And if you’ve ever had a memorable moment with someone who truly wowed you with their mind, I’d love to hear about it!

I have a strong belief in God, and while I don’t flaunt my faith or impose it on others, it’s an important part of who I am. I’d love to connect with someone who shares that belief—not just in a religious sense, but in a way that shapes their values and outlook on life. It’s not about being perfect or always having the right answers. It’s about curiosity, depth, and a shared appreciation for the beauty of faith and intellect coming together. 

I’m looking for a man who is single, aged 40-45, ideally based around Birmingham/West Midlands, and works in a leadership role—I admire ambition and a sense of responsibility. I’d prefer someone who is child-free and pet-free (no offence, just a personal choice). I value kindness, quiet confidence, and a smart, assertive personality, coupled with respect, strong communication skills, and dedication. Bonus points if you’re a bit of a nerd—I love it when someone is passionate about their interests!

As part of a relationship, I’m looking for a D/s dynamic, which can be discussed in more detail once we’ve met and developed a connection. To clarify for this post, I gravitate toward someone who enjoys teaching new things—a caring pleasure Dom who values not just the sexual aspect, but also consent, communication, and aftercare. Someone who understands that building trust and connection may take time but appreciates the journey and knows the result will be worth it. It’s also important that you’re someone who appreciates BBW—I’ve recently started going to the gym and am gradually making changes, but I want to feel valued as I am.

For me, BDSM isn’t just physical; it’s deeply psychological. I love to please my Dom, so it’s imperative for me to get to know your likes, dislikes, aspirations, and even your social world—I’d share the same with you. As a sub, I’d also want to understand your working style, and how you relax, and get to know you on an intimate level so I can recognize when you’re in a playful or serious mood.

I am 37, a single woman who is child and pet-free. Currently studying and working in an office job. I am 5ft 5, with light brown eyes and long dark hair. I am a compassionate individual who enjoys the more intimate, quiet moments of life coupled with experiencing life with a partner. I'm not someone who is the loudest person in the room, but I do open up to the right person. I do have a sassy, playful personality, but hopefully, I find the right person to share that part of my life with.

I am more than happy to discuss kinks when the time is right, but ideally, you like to combine the psychological and physical dynamic of d/s with an emphasis on sensuality and playfulness. This isn’t about high or low sex drive but about someone who enjoys intimacy and connection in all its forms. I want a partner who likes public displays of affection, light touches, stolen passion-filled moments in a quiet corner, kisses, hugs, eye contact, and whispers of what’s to come—to the full-on physical connection. 

Non-negotiables: extreme sadism/BDSM, watersports, bodily fluids, unable to be emotionally available and unwilling to communicate, anal, choking, body writing, humiliation, degradation, pictures,

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you! So please include in your message your name, age, rough location and whats your dom style. Please feel free to include anything else but low effort messages will be ignored. I have tried my best to include as much information as possible so do try and do the same.