Well, I'm newly single. So far in my life I only slept with two women, both were very long relationships.
My sexuality I think is quite extreme, and it has been a problem in the past that I wanted way more sex than both my partners. I hate being pushy, I also hate not being satisfied. In my second relationship I got a bit better, by trying to openly communicating it and for instance asking if she would mind if I "rub one out" before bed time when I noticed she wasn't in that mood at all. It was nice and romantic for a while, masturbating and falling asleep in each others arms, but she kinda started to find it disgusting after a while, and I felt that.
So the thing is that I talk with nobody about my sexuality, except my girlfriend (it was the same in both relatioinships). I actively switch topic when conversations with friends go there, because I'm so terrified talking about it, and I always found it so respectless towards my girlfriends to talk about our sex life. I'm starting to wonder if that's a mistake. I guess I'm a bit lost because it was strictly forbidden to talk about, let alone have or show, my sexuality my entire childhood, and I'm beginning to feel the glimpse of a door opening. But I don't know where to start. I feel super ashamed about my sexuality, and this year I would slowly like to work towards not being ashamed of myself anymore, and making myself vulnerable where I feel safe.
I fear one thing that happens with the approach I had so far in life, combined with that over average sex drive I have, is that it just gets overwhelming for my partners, and I'm pretty sure that feels shitty too.
I'm open for tips, questions or your own difficulties and experiences, preferably via chat.
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