Hello Reddit!  I’m looking for a genuine connection that could grow over time.

Who am I? Level 1: I’m a 29 years old white male. From the US. Appearance wise, I am 5-10, green eyes, brown hair. Think “tallish nerd”, though I have been working out and am in decent shape. Relatively skinny. I’m happy to send you a picture after exchanging a few messages. I’m based in Boston, and open to some distance though would prefer someone close by (Northeast US). But if you’re further than that (even abroad!) and think we’re a great fit, you’re welcome to reply, as long as your intention is that we have an in person relationship. Professionally, I’m a go-getter. I graduated from Harvard Law School and am getting a PhD. I’d like someone who takes their career or studies seriously, in whatever your chosen field is.

Politics: Liberal/Progressive but I try to think through each issue on its own terms.

Religion: None

Drugs/Alcohol: None. I don’t care what you do but I need you to respect that I won’t partake.

What do I enjoy doing? I love having a mix of hobbies. I’m a huge Yankees fan, and also play on a softball team. I come from a family of musicians, and though I don’t play anything I do enjoy listening to a mix of pop and rock (some of my favorite artists are Taylor, Olivia Rodrigo, and Linkin Park). I’m a chess player, and over the past year I’ve picked up some poker as well. Oh, and you’ll always find me trying new cuisines- my favorite is Ethiopian! But I also love Indian food.

Who am I? Level 2: I’m a forthcoming, honest, person. I’m not afraid to be emotional, or to cry. Though we may play with hierarchies, fundamentally I’m a strong feminist and do not believe in gender roles. I try to balance out having a high-powered career while also having fun and meaning outside of work, and that’s something I’ve gotten a lot better at over the past few years. I’m loyal and earnest. I love imparting my wisdom, though sometimes I wonder if I really have that much to share.

Kinky me:

At my core, I’m a dom-leaning switch. My last relationship was highly kinky, and allowed me to explore both my dominant and submissive side.

As a dom, I enjoy feeling power over someone. One way in particular that power is actualized is by inflicting pain. It doesn’t have to be a huge amount, by any means. I love spanking, tit torture, impact play, and other forms of pain infliction. I also like giving orders, humiliation, forced orgasm, and other classic d/s activities, like light bondage,  deep throating, and anal play.

As a submissive, I really enjoy giving up power, and being so into someone that I am willing to obey them rather than do what I deep down really want to do. I enjoy being spanked, nipple clamps, being bound, and have enjoyed receiving anal play though have never been properly pegged. I’m curious about chastity but have not done that.

In terms of limits, I would never want any sort of permanent marks or damage. Various forms of disgust related play are of no interest, like scat. And I’m not interested in doing anything that might harm our out of kink lives, whether that be blackmail, or posting videos online, or extreme exhibitionism.  

I always find it hard to describe my kinks in my own post because there is a lot to explore, and I don’t feel like every dynamic needs to contain all elements. That also goes with my life philosophy; I don’t think it’s possible to have everything we want, all the time. But, I believe that over the course of life, we can have most of the things we want, at different times. Which is to say, that if you’re exclusively a sub or a domme, that’s okay, I’d be happy to explore only one of the two sides.

Some characteristics I like in a partner: communicative, studious, social, ambitious, funny, honest, self-aware, curious.