I'm white, 5'6, 130lbs, slightly fit, averagely attractive (imho), and introverted (INT-J), with brown hair and garbage eyesight. I'm like a straight twink - slender without much body hair. I'm an extremely accommodating and affectionate man, and I'll be an obedient husband. I'm seeking a dominant woman aged 18 to early 30s, living within four hours of Livermore. I'm not interested in hookups, online relationships, or non-monogamy. I'll send SFW pics first if you can send your own in response.

About me:

I try to be not only whimsical and odd to the people around me, but also vaguely threatening. I'm into animals, programming, crimes, piano, shooting, and cycling. Most of that is untrue. I write a program once every few months. I bought a piano years ago and have procrastinated on learning how to play. I haven't owned a bicycle since the one I stole got stolen. Rather than having hobbies, I have fixations that last a month but that I think about returning to constantly for years, like game development, 3D modeling, and music creation. The only consistent hobbies I have are watching youtube, eating the skin off my lower lip, and imagining how great everything would be if I was the president. I would not show mercy. I currently spend most of my time stacking paper and talking to myself.

I used to be a cringe gamer. I'll get back into it if you need a subby pocket medic to call you Mommy in voice chat :3. I like nature but I really only go outside to go to work. I like trying new things, but I'm not motivated to go out alone. I'm into bands like AM, CWK, FOB, GA, ID, Joywave, Muse, RHCP, The Strokes, and TOP. I absolutely LOVE speeding, especially at night, on foggy or rainy winding rural roads, while extremely tired and singing along to TOP. I'm very organized and sanitary. As a radical introvert, I never choose to be around other people. I'm socially awkward, yet I was able to swallow a hot dog in front of all of my coworkers, so anything is possible. One of them tried to match my power level, but he was gagging too much so I throated his wiener too. I got sick even though I washed it with soap. I only drink socially, which means rarely. I've never done drugs, but I'll try anything once. I have two associate's degrees, but I'll get a bachelor's in something at some point. I currently have a cringe physical labor job which keeps me fit, but I'm looking for something sedentary.

I will touch any animal that lets me get close. Birds can't escape once I GET them. I picked up and talked to an injured seagull, and he bit me even though I was being so nice to him. I'm trying to catch the stray cats at work by placing a can of sardines under a box that's propped up on one side by a stick. I think dog food smells good. I like bugs, and I peacefully put them outside if they're chill. Spiders that appear in the corner of the ceiling get to stay. I kept the brain worm, since he wasn't bothering anybody. Dolphins were always my favorite animal, and I won't denounce them for being a little freaky; I honestly prefer them that way.

About you:

If you don't meet all of my requirements, I'll consider going on a date just for fun if you live nearby, but I won't waste too much time with someone who isn't compatible. I'm looking for someone to start a family with, so we have to share the same values. On that note, you need to want kids and you can't already have any. I'm an atheist/agnostic, so I'm not looking for anyone who's avidly religious. I'm fine with spirituality if it's a minor part of your life, but I'm not dragging our kids to church. I voted for Orange Hitler, and I'm only looking to date a fascist, centrist, or someone apolitical who is annoyed by wokeness. I'll often listen to political podcasts at work, and I'll rant with people who agree, but I'm not that political. I wouldn't vote if the ballot wasn't mailed to me, and I don't get into arguments with people over things that neither of us can do anything about. I feel like a bit of a centrist, though I have some "radical" opinions. They're the correct opinions, but people are too scared to say it. I don't agree with the Republicans on everything. For example, while I hate Democrat politicians and the media, I hate fetuses much more. Sometimes I get so angry while thinking about fetuses that I have to take my revolver out of my desk and grip it really tight for a few minutes until I calm down. I'm also no longer homophobic, because sometimes the best furry porn I can find is gay. I don't need agreement on every political topic, but there's one main social issue where disagreement would make us incompatible, which I won't risk mentioning here.

The most important thing about you is that you're loyal. I don't want to hear from you if you've ever cheated or have even been seriously tempted. I honestly think that adultery should be a crime, because betraying the person who trusts you the most and who you made lifelong plans with is one of the worst things you can do. Polyamory and cuckoldry are also not up for consideration and never will be. You should be disgusted by the idea of sharing your partner or letting him watch from the closet as a much more attractive and virile man shares inside you and forces your partner to lap it up like a thirsty dog.

You must be nearly as intelligent as me. The internet said I have an IQ of 135, which puts me in the 99th percentile. I don't expect you, as a woman, to be that smart, but you need to at least be able to decipher one of my secret languages and watch movies without needing me to explain the plot.

You need to be willing to communicate at all times. If we have no major incompatibilities, I believe we can solve all disagreements respectfully. I'm open minded and always willing to seriously consider other people's ideas. I'm not passive aggressive and I'll always be straightforward about how I feel. I'll only keep two secrets. I never intend to lie, though I find it hard to be brutally honest. I would expect all of the same qualities from you.

My only body requirements are that you're female and generally below 180 lbs. If you're tall or muscular, you may be healthy at that number, but it's already officially overweight at my height. I hate making people feel unwanted, but I'm more shallow than I seem, and I'll politely reject any BBWs who message me. I don't care about cup size, height, hair color, hair length, or whatever, though if you're a tomboy who could pick me up and place things out of my reach, I'll pant and say awooga as my eyes pop out of their sockets and steam comes out of my ears. I don't care about race as long as you don't mind me being racist. White women have been a scourge on society and a disaster for the human race, but when I imagine having a partner, I imagine her being like me, or just being me. Honestly, I wouldn't be here if I could clone myself. I wouldn't even need to swap the chromosomes. I'm not gay, and I'd prefer a gender-bent clone, but I can appreciate a breathtaking 10/10 cock when I see one. I'd also love to beat the clone to death with a hammer. If you end up being the lucky lady who ensnares me, you'll understand. My point is that I'm open to anyone, but I have a preference for the dreaded w̸̨͊͗h̷͔͕̏̕i̸̢̮͋̓t̵͖̏̑e̴̳̠͑ ̸̫͑͜͝w̸͙̓o̵̪̲͗̚m̵̹̺͂͗á̴̤͂n̶͔̄͐, despite her many, many flaws.

It would be great if you're into fitness or the outdoors. I don't mind if we stay inside most of the time, but I'd like to occasionally do something outside with you, like hiking, fishing, archery, tennis, or whatever you can think of. We could be each other's motivators at the gym. I think watching sports is cringe, but I'd participate and probably dominate because I'm naturally better than everybody else. I don't do any of that shit currently, which is why I'd like it if you did, so you can drag me outside.

I'd love to belong to a badass woman who would join me to investigate a noise in the middle of the night, mag dump the intruder as he's running away, reload and mag dump his lifeless body for good measure, and liquify him with acid. It would be so hot if you could pay the bill at a restaurant without tipping, because tipping is stupid but I'm a huge pussy who's controlled by shame. You should also love creatures and be willing to touch them with me. I hope you aren't afraid of insects and you'll also let the spider chill at the corner of the ceiling, but I'll put him outside if you need me to. Ideally, we would both like the same music and you can tell me that my singing sounds like shit.

First date:

Your needs, wants, comfort, and satisfaction will be my obsession. I want to be available at your convenience, so I'll travel up to three hours to meet you in your hometown. I like driving, but I won't go any further if you live four or five hours away. We can go anywhere you think would be conducive to a good first date. If we go to a few places, I'd like to drive you around while you control the music and AC. Unless you want me to decide where we go, I'll follow your lead and do as you say. All I ask is that you're available all day if I have to drive for six hours, and that we generally split the costs.

Ideally, we'd end the day snuggling somewhere cozy while watching cat videos or just talking. I keep my car extremely clean and uncluttered, so we could cuddle in the back seat. If you want to invite me over to your place, we could cuddle on your bed and sleep together platonically. I'm normal and can be trusted with knowledge of where you sleep. You can invite yourself over to my place if you happen to live nearby. I live alone with a full size bed and a projector, and I'll make you breakfast in the morning.

You'll be the instigator of any physical contact, no matter how slight. I take getting consent very seriously, so if you touch me in any way, I'll ask if I can do the same to you. You could feel me out as much as you want and tell me to keep my hands to myself, if having such explicit control would make you more comfortable. I won't suggest increasing the intimacy, much less try to pressure you into sex, because this really isn't about that. I'm afraid to look like I'm just doing a "nice guy" act because I think it will get me laid. Really, I want you to control the pace so you can tell I'm actually interested in getting to know you, even if you give no indication that we're gonna fuck any time soon. Also, I'd find it much easier to accept that you're actually interested in me if you take the initiative, because I have issues, so I would leave it up to you to make suggestions or advances. I won't even ask if you want to cuddle, although I'll probably want to. I'm fine with taking it as slow as you want, but if you want to fuck by the end of the first date, I'd be flattered to know. I wouldn't be embarrassed to talk about it, and I did say your wants would be my obsession, so maybe we could do something.

Long term:

I'm generally a people pleaser, but when it comes to you, that would be an understatement. I'd love it if you let me serve you, as long as you aren't just selfish and you make your appreciation clear. I'd encourage you to reveal every desire you have, and pleasing you would bring me fulfillment. I'm not looking for a TPE dynamic, but you can have nearly full control over joint decisions as well as some decisions that would typically be mine to make, like what I wear. I want to generally feel equal, respected, and autonomous. I want to be your best friend most of the time, and your enthusiastically submissive servant whenever you want something.

The whole point of dating for me is to eventually get married. I'd wait at least a year, and I have no problem with you proposing. I don't believe in saving sex for marriage. I think it's an outdated idea that drives horny Christians into shitty marriages, but I'd happily wait for months if you want me to. I don't care about my last name, so I'll gladly take yours. I actually don't care about my first name either, so you can pick a new one for me if you want.

My dream is to own a small house on a few acres with a bunch of animals, and to belong to the perfect woman who will always know that I'm so happy to be hers. I'll be realistic, but I want cats, a husky, fish, chickens, ducks, goats, and bees. I'm not talking about a whole ass farm, just a nice variety of pets, some of which I can suck nourishing secretions out of. I also want a shooting range and a vegetable garden. All of our trees will bear a different fruit; giving us worthless oxygen and dead leaves isn't enough. We could also just live in a suburb if you want, since that all seems like a lot of work. Regardless, we will only have grass if we have goats to eat it, which is my biggest requirement of all. Lawns are for boomers, and they're a stupid waste of time and water. We'll have moss, and that's final. Moss and I are a package deal, so If you don't like moss, I don't like you.

I want kids. I want to adopt, but I don't want the government up my ass because you shouldn't have to share it. I'm fine with making a few if you don't mind being pregnant, despite the risk of passing on whichever genes made me like this. We could just steal newborns from people who don't deserve them, then say they came out of you. I'll get a vasectomy at any point after marriage when we've decided to cease production. I'd never consider having you use any kind of birth control that you don't like using. We won't give our kids brainrot machines so they'll leave us alone. I want to actually be a good parent, so I'm gonna feed them supplements and make them expand the vast tunnel system under our house, to build character.

I don't have a solid idea of how much each of us should work. It would be nice if we could both work part time. I think the 40 hour work week sucks, and ideally, automation and AI could lead to us all only having to work half as much for the same pay, but these fuckers won't let that happen. If I'm going to be the provider, I'd want you to work part time while we don't have young kids. If you already have a career and you want a stay at home husband, I'll work part time while also being your trad malewife. I'll wear a catboy maid outfit while I clean the house. I'll greet you with a kiss when you get home, and you can beat me if dinner isn't ready. Regardless, you can control the finances if you value saving and investing.

Love languages:

All of the love languages make me feel fuzzy, but physical touch is my favorite. You can invade my personal space any time you want. You can wait until we get comfortable or break the ice by sneaking a finger up my ass. If you want to cuddle, don't hesitate, because I do too. We can spend hours cuddling and I'll beg you to stay a little longer when it gets late. I'd immensely appreciate any small physical interaction which indicates that you like being close to me, like if you hold my hand whenever I'm driving. I'd love to be invited to lay down next to you and rest my head on your lap as you slowly pet me and run your fingers through my hair. I like being submissive while cuddling, but I'll happily take up any position that lets us sink into each other. I'm not afraid to cuddle in public, and I don't care if people can tell that you're in charge.

I'd love to provide unprompted acts of service to let you know that you're always on my mind. I'd do chores for you, show up with your favorite drink, learn how to massage you, or really do whatever I think will make your day better. If you end up working more than me, I'll be your assistant and I'll make sure you're completely free of all other obligations. I'll do anything I can to ease your pain and help you relax during your period. If you have to suffer for a week every month, I'll be there to fully dedicate myself to your comfort. It's so cringe that you have to deal with that. If the Christians are right, that dumb bitch Eve is gonna catch these hands the moment I see her, that fucking cunt.

I'd give you gifts, but only thoughtful ones. I think cut flowers and diamonds are stupid. I don't like wasteful traditions, so don't expect an expensive wedding ring from me. If you propose, I don't want you wasting our money on an expensive ring either. I'm saving money to buy us a house, preferably in a different state, not a rock. Still, I'd love to give you meaningful gifts, without being limited to the few days every year when I'm expected to. I'd probably save them to surprise you with after a bad day.

Affirmation makes me super uncomfortable because I feel like I never deserve it, so you should force me to get used to it. I want you to convince me that you're glad I exist, and I want to erase any stupid insecurities you might have. I'd love to let you know that you're the first thing I think of when I wake up, either with a kiss or a text. I'm pretty bad at affirming other people, but I doubt that would be the case with you. I'd rarely miss an opportunity to express my appreciation for anything you do. I know I normally come off as cold and self-centered, so people wouldn't guess that I want to constantly remind a woman that she's the most important thing in my life, but I do. I yearn to be super mushy and affectionate, and again, I don't care who sees it. I want to give incels suicidal thoughts when they see how happy we are.

I want to spend as much quality time with you as possible. I don't like trying new things alone, because it reminds me that I'd rather have someone special to experience new things with. I'd want to go everywhere and try everything with you, then have long conversations at night, where we say we need to go to sleep but we're still talking about our plans two hours later.

Consent:

You deserve to always feel safe and to know that you have complete control over your own body. You deserve to have all of your boundaries respected and you should never have to make a guy slow down because he's crossing one. I also want to feel safe and respected (though not always in control), so I'd delight in the opportunity to give you my consent for anything intimate. I think it's really sweet and sexy to let your partner know that you care more about making them feel safe and listened to than you do about wanting to fuck.

You're all but guaranteed to get a lengthy cuddle session with me if you ask. I wouldn't even mind if we start the date by cuddling and do nothing else all day, but I won't be bitter if we never do. If we agree to meet, I'll be sad and angry if you don't show up, but I'm not entitled to anything more than a sincere effort to get to know me. I'll understand if you need more than one date before you go somewhere private with a guy from the internet or if you decide quickly that you don't like me and you leave early. You don't need my consent to touch me platonically, but I'll get yours before touching you back. I won't try to turn cuddling into sex; that would be up to you if you want. If I'm not ready for something, I'll just tell you to slow down, and it won't be a problem (and I'll be glad to know you're interested), but I need to be cautious while touching you because I'll actually cry if I feel like I made you feel disregarded, even if you insist that I did nothing wrong. I have a massive fear of imposing on people, even when they assure me that I'm not, because I assume they're just being polite. I need to feel confident that what I'm doing is wanted, so I need enthusiastic consent. I'd prefer to eventually never need consent, but it would take time to trust each other like that.

If you tell me beforehand that you want our first date to be platonic, but you predictably start getting carried away due to my flawless body and unmatched rizz, I'll kill the momentum and give you time to consider whether things are moving too fast for you. It would be devastating to me if you regret anything that happens between us. There's always next time to decide that we should go further, especially if we've been drinking. I'll be happy to cuddle, because I genuinely don't want to have sex with anyone who isn't super enthusiastic and completely sure that they want me. I wouldn't call myself a male feminist, but men who think with their dicks are cringe.

Sex:

God damn, this section takes up half the post. How embarrassing. It gets progressively more graphic, so you should skip to the conclusion if you feel like you've read too much. I know you'll read the whole thing though; you women are all the same. Anyway, I'd wait patiently if you wanted me to, but you should know about some of this to make sure we're compatible.

My hard limits are the obviously gross stuff, CBT, findom, ageplay, cuckoldry, and polyamory. Please stay away if you're into that stuff. If you're willing to be in a monogamous relationship, but polyamory or cuckoldry appeals to you even a little, then I'm not interested in you. If you tell me on our 10 year anniversary that you've secretly always wanted to change my diaper, I'm leaving with the kids. I also don't like sadism masochism, humiliation, degradation, chastity cages, or TPE. It's okay if you see some appeal in those, and we could try them out, but I don't think I'd ever want them to be a regular thing. I think anal is gross, but if you wanna don the strap I'll bounce on it and moan like a girl. I know there's a lot of jokes in this post, but that isn't one of them. I WILL let you fuck me with the strap, and I WILL moan effeminately. I'd prefer that it's a bad dragon strap, because I don't wanna look down and see a human cock in my ass. That would be gay.

I'm not into the standard BDSM aesthetic of leather, whips, bruises, and medieval looking restraints. My biggest fetish is giving pleasure (seriously, I'll explain), and others are gentle femdom, less gentle femdom, foreplay, edging, orgasm control, overstimulation, teasing, begging, praise, cunnilingus, creampies, breeding, body worship, aftercare, and mommy/mistress/puppy/good boy talk. As you can see, I have the best kinks. I don't have any porn-brained or weirdly specific fetishes, but I wish furries were real. I was clearly born in the wrong generation, because if I lived in the future with genetically modified animal people, I wouldn't be fucking with you filthy, ugly ass primates. I'm not gay, as you know, but I'd fuck a fit fox guy way before considering a human woman. I think sex should feel comfy and loving, and like we couldn't be more connected and obsessed with each other. I don't think it should include pain or insecurity, though I'm not afraid to experiment. I'd like to try bondage, pegging, choking, CNC, and really anything else I haven't mentioned, but only once if it makes either of us feel unloved or inadequate.

I'm kind of demisexual, and I don't need sex. For me, sex should be about bonding with and satisfying the woman who makes my life worth living. I don't mind exploring before I know who that woman is, but the point is to try to find her. I'd never want to have a FWB, be in a situationship, meet someone new just to fuck, or spend my stacks on porn or sex. Maybe that's just called having standards, but that stuff doesn't appeal to me. I also don't "mentally undress" women like all other guys apparently do. Whenever a guy points out a baddie walking by or shows me bitches on his phone, I don't have much to say because it's not interesting to me. I've never really even paid any attention to you people, and didn't start trying to date until somewhat recently. My libido is easily controlled, and I wouldn't be surprised if yours is higher. I don't think about sex throughout the day, but I'm easily aroused when someone shows interest, so you could get me in the mood anytime. I wouldn't complain if you only wanted sex once a week, but I honestly think I could keep up if you wanted an hour of sex every day. It would be fun if a woman with a high sex drive pushed me into the bedroom every day to drain me like a succubus.

I don't feel strongly about how long we should wait to have sex. If it feels right, I won't mind if you want to go past cuddling by the end of the first date. If we really like each other, I'll be excited to show you how much I've appreciated your company. I'll use full protection until we both get tested, but we could passionately kiss, lick, and bite each other all over. I don't have any STDs, and I don't plan on having any to share with my future soulmate. If that sounds boring, our second date can be at a clinic. We can hold hands while they draw our blood and you can comfort me because I'm afwaid of needles. Within a week, I could be eating your pussy like it's peanut butter, which is a food I eat quite often. I have no experience, but I'm apparently a naturally good kisser, and I'd love to follow your exact instructions. I'll humbly trust that you know way more than me about how you receive pleasure, and giving you as much pleasure as you're capable of receiving is all I'll want to do. I think you'll find it hard to believe that it's my first time.

This part is very personal and cringe, and probably weird even for a submissive guy, so I understand if it makes me unappealing to you. Our first time would be a vulnerable and emotional experience for me, so you would need to be extremely gentle and caring. I'd honestly prefer to just satisfy you the whole time as you hold me, encourage me, and instruct me. I'd like to do that until you're ready for aftercare. We would cuddle for a long time and talk about whatever comes to mind. Maybe I'll decide that I'm comfortable with reciprocation if you offer it, but what I can safely say is that I'd enjoy being pet and praised while I please you. I really want to give pleasure, but I'm nervous about receiving it. It's hard for me to accept that I'm not a burden on anyone who does anything nice for me. I would feel safer emotionally if you just comfort me. I might cry, but that wouldn't be a bad thing. I would need you to hold me close and kiss me and tell me it's okay to be emotional with you until I calm down. I'd need you to tell me that I've been doing a good job and that you're glad to have me with you.

With all that being said, please don't lead me on just because you want a living sex toy who will eat you out whenever you tell him to. Conversely, don't put off sex because I seem damaged and you feel like you'd be exploiting me. Even if I'm so cringe that I start crying, I'd like to feel any emotion at all, and I'd really like to be with someone who can hold me until I calm down. If you can support me like that, I'd like to be yours.

Once we're past that, I'll be extremely accommodating to you. As a service-oriented sub, providing service is my biggest turn on. The most important and arousing thing to me is pleasing you, so while I have many preferences, one of them is for you to let yours triumph over mine. I want to give you all the pleasure you deserve by being whatever you need me to be, even dominant if you want, though it feels right to be womanhandled. If you want me to do all the work, you can actively command me or just let your body tell me when I'm doing something right. Even if I beg desperately for reciprocation, I'll always enjoy being your source of pleasure. If you'd rather take full control, you can push me down and use me as your toy. You don't need to treat me super delicately. I'd love to feel your power as you grab my body and move it into different positions, making it clear that it's yours to do whatever you want with. You can focus on me, and I'll beg for your permission to serve you first until you tell me to shut up and enjoy it. Since I'll belong to you completely, I'll only behave in the ways you want me to. I'll get a lot out of knowing that when you got the urge, you came to your plaything and took exactly what you wanted. If you also happen to get pleasure by giving pleasure, I'll confidently tell you what I'd like you to do to me or what I'd like you to make me do.

I prefer to earn my pleasure, and you would have complete control over how I can do that. Since I derive my pleasure from yours, I'll be in heaven if you're capable of having many long, intense orgasms. You can promise to reward me after I give you ten, but you can always change your mind. If my hands ever leave your body and wander towards mine, you'll let me know that's an additional orgasm I'll have to give you, so I'll have no choice but to focus entirely on you as I leak precum and desperately thrust into the air. After five, I'll say,, "Halfway there, right Mommy?" and you'll say, "Hm? Oh, sure puppy. Just keep being a good boy for me." I'll get more and more excited, then at ten, I'll ask, "Did I do a good job Mommy? Do I get to cum now?" You'll say, "Maybe. How about you beg like a good little puppy?" I'll plead between the kisses I frantically place all over you, and you'll say, "Awww, you're such a good boy for Mommy, and you're so cute when you're desperate." I'll say excitedly, "So you'll let me cum, Mommy?" and you'll respond with, "Maybe later. I'm not done using you." You'll push my mouth back onto you and I'll get right back to work. Eventually, if you graciously decide to switch things up, you'll say, "My little puppy made his Mommy feel so good, I think he deserves a reward." I'll say, "Are you sure mommy? Did I Do a good job?" and you'll pet me and say, "Yes puppy, you did such a good job for me." I'll say, "Yay, I love you Mommy," and I'll kiss you all over again so you can see how excited I am to know that I satisfied you. I won't stop until you push me over and tell me to relax while you give me my reward. You can spend as much or as little time as you want keeping me on the edge. When I know I can't take it anymore, I'll beg for your permission to cum. Maybe you'll decide before then that you actually just wanted to turn me into a complete mess before sending me back down between your legs. No matter how many times you deny me, I'll still love being the lucky guy who gets to do as you say.

While I don't want to wear a cage, chastity should be my punishment for failing to make you feel 110% satisfied. If my efforts are ever somehow insufficient, which would be based solely and rightfully on your opinion, we should skip my orgasm and go straight to aftercare. Making you cum on my face before falling asleep in your arms would be a great end to any day. I like shooting ropes as much as the next guy, but I want to know that when you call me a good boy and give me my release, it's because I truly earned it by being everything you need. To be clear, I don't anticipate that I'll leave you at all unsatisfied very often, but if I ever do, that would be a great opportunity to prove that my pleasure must be earned.

If you'd prefer to comfort me instead of doing the female superiority thing, that's just as good. I'll offer to satisfy you first, but you can assure me that I've already earned my reward by being yours. You can ride me slowly as you hold me and softly tell me that you'll always be there for me. I'll tell you I love you and you'll say "Shhhh, I know you do. You're such a good boy, just relax for me." I'll comply and lay there as you pet me and whisper things that make me feel completely and unconditionally loved. I'll whimper with every exhale, and you can call me cute and encourage me to cum inside you. I'll whine out "I'm getting close mommy" (or mistress or whatever you prefer to be called) and you'll grab my hands and say "It's okay. Let it all out for Mommy. Good boy, I love you so much. You're my perfect little pet and I'll always be here to make you feel better."

I hope that, like me, you're aroused both by the idea of me being yours to exploit and being yours to nurture. If I've had a long day, your mommy instincts should drive you to comfort me. When you're justly establishing your dominance over me instead, I don't want to be insulted or made to feel worthless, rather, I prefer to be playfully teased, reminded that I'm there to satisfy you, and praised when I do. Regardless, I'd always be yours and I'd never consider not doing as you say.

I'd like to prove my trust and devotion in any way, like by being completely bound and gagged, unable to resist or even utter an objection. I'd love to be completely powerless, choiceless, and incapable of protecting myself. Knowing that I'm in your care, I wouldn't be afraid or nervous. You could do whatever you want to my body. You could edge me while I buck my hips in desperation, then use toys to overstimulate me while you watch me struggle and squirm. You could take off the gag and ride my face while a pool of precum forms on my stomach. You could force me to impregnate you. I like the idea of fulfilling my purpose by shooting my genes into the woman I was designed to mate with. I probably shouldn't actually pass on my short, socially anxious, stupid idiot genes, but we could pretend.

I'm genuinely not into feet. I may joke about sucking toes, but I also joke about being gay and sucking meaty cocks, and I only did that twice. I'm not into feet, but your entire body is beautiful and deserves to be worshiped, so I'll kiss yours. I just don't want to suck the sweat from your toes or get a footjob, because I don't have a foot fetish. If I did have a foot fetish, I'd like them a little sweaty from a short jog. You could shove them right into my face and I'd give them a big whiff and lick them from heel to toe, then I'd suck each toe for a full minute and trim your toenails with my teeth, but that's not for me.

Every single orgasm I have will require your permission. I will wear an invisible chastity cage made out of trust. Sex will start and end whenever you choose. I'll always be yours to lovingly use, but if you're not in the mood and you don't want me to try to get you into it because you're on your period or for whatever reason, I'll insist on waiting for you. Like my body, my pleasure should only exist for you. I never want to have an orgasm that you don't enjoy giving me. I think that almost all sexual pleasure should be given to you by your partner. Typically, that means only pleasuring each other, not oneself, while having sex, but that pleasure doesn't need to be physical. If you order me to touch myself or you like the idea of masturbating while I'm away and showing me what I'm missing out on, that's still deriving pleasure from each other. I'll never watch porn or masturbate unless you tell me to. You shouldn't watch porn of other people. I have no right to tell you you can't masturbate, but you know we would both enjoy it if you've been ready for hours by the time I walk through your door. If you drag me directly to the bedroom, I won't waste any time doing what I was designed to do.

I'm easy to turn on and I don't think I'll last very long, but I don't think that's a downside. During mostly-clothed foreplay, which is the farthest I've gotten, I'll leak through my pants and I'll be incredibly sensitive to any gentle touches on my thighs and abdomen. I honestly think I'd cum just from having my head grabbed and shoved down between your legs, where I could smell, taste, and pleasure you. I hope that sounds hot to you, rather than disappointing. I can cum many times, but even if I couldn't, my orgasm wouldn't stop me from continuing to do exactly as you say.

If it wasn't obvious, I was extremely horny and jorking my peanits while writing this section. If you got horny too, that's super epic. Maybe I got a bit too into it, but I'd like to assume that a dominant woman would enjoy reading all of that. Like I said, you didn't have to read it, but here you are. I'll just emphasize once more that I'm not interested in hookups, so to go on a date, we need to have more in common than an appreciation for pegging. Anyway, DICK STATS: 6.5 or 7.25 inches hard (when measured by displacement or distance), 4 inches flaccid (sometimes less), 5.875 to 5.625 inch circumference from base to end of shaft (not egg shaped), uncut gang, aggressive 40 degree upward curve (mythical, almost unheard of), 15 degree leftward curve, leaks like a faucet, has an extra hole, no refractory period, shaved (trying hair removal, pubic hair disgusts me), balls are 20x40mm (as measured with calipers), color is a healthy D29EA0 at the tip and CE8F70 on the shaft. Also, I have lots of CUM in my BALLS that I need to get rid of so you can have a bunch when you leave. It's all perfectly good, I just have too much!!!

Conclusion:

The fine print on this entire post is that, since I've never been in a relationship, everything I wrote about how I want one to be is theoretical. I could change my mind on a lot of it since I haven't been tested yet. Specifically with all the selfless stuff, I think and hope that I'm capable and willing to act as I've described, but I don't know if I would get burnt out. Also, since I've always been alone, spending so much time with another person in the way I fantasize would be a huge adjustment.

I kept all information about myself positive or humorously self-deprecating, as everyone does in personal advertisements. After you spend a day getting to know me, I'd like to give you a list of every reason why you might not want to come back for more. I think you deserve to be able to make a completely informed decision when it comes to dating. I just think it would be unfair to let you waste a lot of time on me if some information that I'm withholding is bound to make you leave.

I don't see myself as a fetishist just because I'm submissive. If a woman is submissive, that's normal, but if a guy is, that's apparently "not an appropriate subject to discuss in the workplace" and I'm supposedly "fired" and "criminally trespassed from these premises". I'm not looking for a kink dispenser, and I hope that the extensive detail in the previous section doesn't imply that I am. I'm just hoping that putting everything out there will help you decide if I'm worth messaging. I want to have a good time with you at whatever pace you're comfortable with. I welcome whatever fun activities you have in mind, like going back to your place to cuddle and pet your dogs (please).

If you're interested, tell me about all the things you think make us compatible, and anything that might be a problem. Tell me if you read all the cringe sexual stuff and if any of it was unappealing. We can talk about kinks if you want, but I'd at least like to know if you're fully dominant or kinda switchy. Send me a good message with enough information about yourself so that I can easily respond to it. Don't make it anywhere near as long as this, because there are still a few things to get out of the way, and I don't want to waste your time. If we're not compatible or you're too far away, but your goofy ass read this whole post anyway, I'd appreciate any critiques you could offer. We could chat a little about femdom or FLRs, but I don't need online friends.

Here's a list of places I'm willing to travel to, just to make this post easier to find. I'm willing to regularly drive to: San Jose, San Francisco, Fresno, Sacramento, Oakland, Stockton, Fremont, Modesto, Elk Grove, Santa Rosa, Roseville, Salinas, Hayward, Sunnyvale, Visalia, Santa Clara, Clovis, Vallejo, Concord, Fairfield, Berkeley, Antioch, Vacaville, San Mateo, Chico, Daly City, Tracy, Merced, Manteca, Citrus Heights, San Leandro, San Ramon, Folsom, Livermore. If you're willing to drive a little yourself, you can be out near Redding, Reno, or Bakersfield.