I hope this works this time. I’m nervous typing this out and not positive if I’ll post it but I’ll at least get close. I think I’m becoming addicted to B.D.S.M. from how much I’ve been watching videos and thinking about it. It used to be maybe once a day but since we’ve been on Christmas break it’s turning into a lot more. I’m hoping I can find somebody who will be able to help me with several things. First is being able to control it better in my head, once I start thinking about it the thoughts just get worse until I can’t help it. I also want to learn more about what I could try and like. And maybe if someone would take me as a slave so I could do it that way instead of just videos.

I tried some things before, by myself and some with my sister helping (not sexual). With her it’s just been games like trying to tie each other up and see if we can break out. Same thing with testing ways to tape our mouths so it can’t come off. It’s just a way to make a bet to see who’s in charge for the night like what we watch and stuff.

On my own I tried things I’ve seen in videos but not a lot. Tying my legs and wrists, writing with lipstick on myself, finding different ways to masturbate. A lot of videos. I noticed one thing about myself is the fantasies I think about seen like they come from what I watch. Like the bondage videos make me really want to be tied up, it’s almost like changing parts of my mind.

I want to try some things like having rules and being controlled by someone. I’m not sure how far it could go but this seems like a good time since my parents aren’t home most of the day. Also you know good ways to tie myself or somebody else with duck tape or anything please message me. Or if there’s like fun games to try during sleepovers or just when it’s boring, I’ve already played sweet dreams with my friends so stuff like that is fine too.

I share rooms with my sister but we’re close and there isn’t any way that I’d get in trouble, we’ve been staying up late trying peppermint shots during the break. I’m not sure how much I’m supposed to write. I do not want anybody here to know what I look like or any way of finding me. This is only for online.

If you need to know more and you message me I’ll try to answer anything that won’t give too much information. If there’s a way to have rules and training or something with dates or challenges to do that would be great