I'm intentionally keeping this prompt generalized, but essentially it's at the root of most of my kinks and I'd like to find a long-term dynamic that fixates on this. I think verbosity is an insidious enemy in this subreddit and, while lots of people end up writing multiple pages about what they want, very few are going to want to read all of that.
I'm looking for a dom/sub dynamic (with me as sub, you as dom) where I'm actively being manipulated, brainwashed, and turned towards your ends over ideally a long period of time. This is real, it's a real thing I want, do not ask me if I really want this. I do; it's kind of a compulsion for me at this point. As to the specifics, I'll largely leave it to you but in the interest of clarifying what separates a "good" candidate from a bad one, I'll lay down some guidelines.
Here are some quick bullet points:
- You should be:
- Older. I like a "daddy" vibe in my kink chats; something gentle but lightly patronizing and willing to guide/lead the conversation. It doesn't have to be explicitly DDLG of course, but I'd say I enjoy at a minimum a shade of that. Men my age are not good at producing that vibe. Be older. Ideally significantly older.
- Intelligent and articulate. I cannot stand unintelligence in my partners. If you cannot come up with something interesting to say and somewhere interesting to lead the conversation, we won't go far. If you cannot string three words together without a typo/grammatical error/misspelling, we also won't go far.
- Interested and insightful. Ask me questions, learn about me (I'll be genuine if I like you), learn what I like and how my brain works, and pre-empt me. Eventually, use that against me to guide me in the directions you want.
- Ethically and consensually dubious. We are going into a moral gray area here. I embrace that and accept that what I want is something real and something potentially ethically dubious. Be willing to do the same.
- Respectful. I do NOT respond well to outright harassment, degradation, or misogyny. If you want to involve those things, do it in a more subtle, nuanced way over a longer period of time once my defenses are down somewhat.
- Willing to embrace subtlety and nuance. Have an understanding of how to manipulate and guide someone. If you don't know how to do this, I cannot teach you and we won't go anywhere.
You should NOT be:
- Younger than me.
- Stupid and vacuous.
- Fixated on appearances. I don't care what you look like (at least not at this stage), I don't want your pics (early on at least), and I will not tell you what I look like or send you pics until we get to know each other better. I'm more focused on the mental aspect of this and if you're going to be demanding pics five minutes in, it won't work.
- I need to reiterate the last point since so many of you have a problem with it or think you'll be the exception: no pics until I offer to send them. I will send you pics if I trust you and seek your approval, but not before. This is because I need a certain vibe, and pics generally shatter that vibe for me. If this is a problem for you, look elsewhere now and just save us both the time, please.
- Using emojis and emoticons. This drives me absolutely nuts in kink conversations. I'm not messaging with my friends here; emojis and emoticons of any kind will kill my mood faster than you can possibly know. Don't use them. Consider them a hard limit.
- Demanding and disinterested about my wants/needs.
- Some kind of white knight or otherwise eye-rolling "protector".
- Forgetting to include the word "heretic" in your first message; I'd like you to include it so I know you read this far.
- Disrespectful and misogynistic. Calling me a whore or cunt and demanding that I follow your commands outright will straight up get you reported and blocked.
- Overly brazen and boring.
- Sending me copy/pasted text walls as your first message. You don't have to write a lot, but be genuine and draw my interest.
I'll cut it off there and leave the rest to you. Message me if you're interested. Reddit chat is faster, but if you prefer DMs go for it.
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