This is a genuine attempt to find someone post, just using humor to eventually touch some titties, onwards!

Before you're fully embraced by my idiocy, I am only looking for something local in the Las Vegas area, to reiterate I don't want to relocate you, I don't want to move you into my home, I'm looking for someone with a sense humor who's kinky and fun weird (Don't be me waking up to you staring at me as you crouch and piss on the floor weird, actually happened)

Hey eyes up here, I know what you're looking at, just because I'm wearing gray sweatpants doesn't mean you get to eye fondle Daddy's manwich, got it. Even though I'm dressed like this doesn't mean "I'm asking for it" men can wear what they want and it doesn't mean I'm looking to get anyone pregnant, I wear this because I like it, and that's all the reason I need.

With that said, we both know why you are here: to be the next goodgirl to bring me and my friends wings and watch sportsball with me. Now to be clear I know you have your expectations of being choked, being spit on, being slapped, being paddled, and fucked bow legged by a loving Daddy. But stop it! I don't do those things with women I don't know, I'm not that kind of Daddy I am. I only do those special Daddy things with someone who recognizes my value, who buys me Taco Bell, makes me delicious baked goods, and who'll watch an insane amount of anime with me. I'm not some kind of Daddy slut, giving away my special gifts.

Next, do not judge me if I've done OnlyDads, it's my body, and my choice. You need to respect me, and my choices. Don't ask me how many good girls I've been a Daddy to, that doesn't matter. It's none of your business how many different girls I've Dadded. You should just be happy that I'm even considering to allow you to take me to Gamestop shopping, and let you watch Lord of the Rings Extended Edition with me.

Lastly, I have Daddy needs so if I have a goodgirl or two who are my friends you shouldn't feel threatened by that. It doesn't matter if I've helped them with yardwork, or helped them with IT issue they are a part of my life and you need to come to terms with that. Also they might text me at 2 am and be listed as Pizza Hut in my contacts, that's totally normal and acceptable behavior, deal with it!

In closing I know I'm a 10, so you need to make at least 20k a year, have a car that mostly functions, a place you sleep at, and be at least 5 feet tall. No compromise on this, I know my value!

Anyways if you think you can handle this Daddy, get in touch, and no 1 one word messages I will just ignore them. Also say perpendicular to know you actually read my message, other wise I won't waste my time, also no cut and paste messages you send to other dads, they are gross and low energy.

Out!