What I'm looking for

My last real-life submissive ended up getting married about a year ago and we left on good terms. I'd love to replace that in-person dynamic with another, but as this is Reddit an online-only or mostly-online dynamic is far more likely. I've done that in the past, and had a lovely recent attempt with someone I met here but in the end we just weren't looking for the same thing but it was soooo close it was painful.

I lack intimacy in my life, and I find that intimacy hole is filled really, really well by Kink. Less concretely, there's a part of me that only comes alive when I'm in a caring relationship with my sub, and I'd prefer to find a partner who has a Daddy shaped hole in her life that can be filled by me.

I'm looking for intimacy, and vulnerability, and (of course) submission. I want to get to know you better than you know yourself, get into your head, drive you to feel the way I want you to feel, keep your desire and arousal alive and burning, and guide you more on your exploration of yourself and your deepest desires. I love to explore and show you parts of yourself you didn't know existed. If we're a good fit you will feel protected, and desired, and seen, and needed, and adored, and loved, because you will be.

I'm more a Daddy than a Sir, and I'm certainly not a Master. The only impact play I really crave is spankings, though I'm pretty good with a flogger. It's more about control for me - the more you hand over, the better this will be for both of us. Orgasm control, I find, is a very good way to start, then we add in lots of experimentation. In the end the dynamic will depend on your needs - my strongest need is to be needed, and I'll do my best to satisfy your needs so well that you'll never want to have anyone else in the Daddy role.

If it's Internet only, we will need to find a way to build the trust required for photos, voice calls, and maybe some video. Maybe not right away, and maybe not exactly what I want, but those are really required for me to take this from a mental/emotional thing to a mental/emotional/physical dynamic on my side. If I'm taking you new places that you love to visit, I'm going to want to see and hear how you experience the journey so I can be "there" with you, in a way. Seeing these experiences through your eyes, if we never get to meet, is how I get the most out of this exploration. You can't communicate via text that catch in your voice, look in your eye, or the shivers your body experiences.

Please be mostly height and weight proportionate. I don't care a whole lot about appearance - I really do appreciate beauty, especially non-conventional beauty, but I'd much prefer a six with the right attitude to a 10 with the wrong one.

If you're drawn to kink, but want to be guided, and educated, and given a private tour of all the fun rides by a private guide that you're actually friends with, then maybe you should chat.

In-person? Expect lots of passionate kissing, teasing, edging, orgasm denial, the standard choking and hair pulling and general roughness in the bedroom, loooooooooong play sessions together, and fun, teasing training of the holes that make you feel the most submissive and alive. You'll learn to beg effectively, and to use your words properly, and will find more joy in getting what you need instead of just what you think you want. You will earn every bit of pleasure you receive, but I hope you receive more pleasure than you ever knew you could experience.

In-person can be a hundred miles away or so - if you're in #SC and need in-person feel free to reach out. Weekday play dates are best.

About me

6' tall, shoulders probably in the top percentile width-wise - I'm a big, strong, Teddy Bear of a man. Call me a cuddly bear as well because I'm carrying more weight than I want to be, but I've been doing a lot of rucking of late which is taking that off. Caucasian. I've been told I'm handsome. For those who care, down below is kind of like the rest of me - longer and thicker than average, but I'm not a giant.

I'm well traveled (have lived on 3 continents), have a post-graduate degree and most of a second one, am well read, and I like to think I communicate well. I'm smart enough that I am a bit Asperger's-y so sometimes I can be stupidly literal, but most of the time with a sub I'm right on her wavelength and can surprise her with how well I understand her needs and how well we sync.

I'm spiritual/religious, and my path has been a long one that has covered lots of ground, so if you're struggling there I might be a bit of a help.

I end up being a mentor in all things, and using Kink and my guidance to heal (a lot of the reason my last sub got married to her long-term boyfriend, because I helped her fix that.)

I like to think that I'm strict, but loving and understanding. Unlike most here I've got formal training in kink - just a few dozen hours with a pro, but it's served as a good foundation for all the experience I've received after that.

I am married. The bedroom has been dead for 15 years (medical cause, not lack of love), and we have an understanding that she doesn't want to know about this side of me, and I'll be discreet enough that nobody in our social circles ever find out. If you need discretion, I understand completely as I do as well. This means if you're looking for your forever Daddy, unless you're interested in being a Forever Mistress, I'm afraid I'm not the one.

I think that's most of it, and it explains what you can expect without being too crass. Feel free to reach out with questions.