Hello wonderful kinky people! I'm looking for something that is probably not everyone's cup of tea. But where else to ask, am I right?

I am an absolutely normal person. I have a pretty solid job and some nerdy interests. I'm not married nor I have kids. I'm not monogamous and my sex life is actually quite fine: I have people IRL whom I have sex with, kinky dynamics included.

Despite this, I feel I have fallen into a pretty deep hole made of somewhat depraved porn, masturbation, and a misplaced sense of guilt and self-loathing that prevents me to share this with any real people in my life.

I would like to offer you this dark and shameful side of mine, in hopes you will help me tame it and turn it into a game that I find most intriguing.

Ideally, you are a chill girl with a tendency to soft (or not even that soft, if you're so inclined) domination. The idea is that you would get complete control over my entire porn/masturbation sphere. I would completely renounce my freedom in that area, and you would get to tell me if, when and how I would be allowed to pleasure myself.

I'm not looking for just a sexting partner. I'm looking for a true connection, we would have to click in just the right kind of way. We could talk about mundane things, on and off chat even during our normal days at work, share anything we feel like or even vent some during those not-so-great days we all happen to get from time to time. In the middle of all this, you would be my onanistic guardian, taking pleasure in holding the power to allow or deny me at your complete will. How much benevolent or cruel you are going to be is completely up to you. You can turn out to be a very indulgent and merciful person, or a very sadistic one. That is a gamble I'm willing to take.

I won't put a list of kinks and limits here, I'd rather talk about those during our firsts chats, as those can also vary depending on the mood a person inspires me.

You can be from anywhere in the world, but if you're based in Europe it's probably easier to stay in touch without having to worry too much about timezones.

If the dynamic that I tried to outline doesn't completely gross you out and you feel the tingling of curiosity, feel free to drop me a DM and we can start from there.