And then I realize it’s the little details that don’t matter to me. How can I worry about whether I want a relationship or kids if I haven’t found the person I want to have them with? It’s hard enough finding someone who wants to live the lifestyle and have the community when I’m too shy and awkward to go alone.

I know the must haves - a little older than me, I’ve always had a thing for the upper classman, older brother’s best friend vibe (though it kind of defeats the purpose when my older brother is tiptoeing past 50 🤣 - so maybe best friend’s older brother?). Someone genuinely kind and compassionate who can take me down and make me a wordless, brainless pile of mush with just a look or a word. Someone who’s eyes and voice will haunt me in my dreams. 😏

Someone who realizes when I say I’m a brat I don’t mean an abusive newbie who wants to call you rude names. I mean a sassmonster sex gremlin who will pretend I’m Daddy until you have me curled up around your feet or with my head in your lap, just content to exist next to you and share your space.

Someone who realizes that valuing each other as people first matters, but when you find the charisma and make that connection it’s okay to move a little faster- as long as you’re not neglecting the foundation. I’m not just looking for “a” Dominant. I’m looking for my partner. My match. And there’s never hard feelings if that’s not you!

Which brings me to communication. Communication is important to me. I need to know where my partner stands. If we’ve been playing and spending time together for a few months and you’re not interested it’s not like we’ve wasted our time. I’m a grown woman and can handle my own feelings and emotions. I hope you can do the same.

Speaking of being a grown woman, it may seem contradictory to someone who doesn’t seem to know what they want. But I can tell you what my dreams are, and how I’m trying to work towards them. I can tell you about the people I care about, and the visions I have for my future. Will you help me make them a reality? I’m terrible at keeping other adults on task and could use help with it. 🥺

If you need acronyms, I use the 4C’s and F.R.I.E.S.