About Me: I am a 33 year old, white, male dominant. I am 6'3", about 175 pounds with a lean build. Not much muscle definition but I am working on it. I have short brown hair, brown eyes and wear glasses. I consider myself on the handsome side of nerdy. I have over 10 years (closer to 15) experience, off and on, in the lifestyle mostly revolving around training and scenes as opposed to a 24/7 dynamic (but maybe we'll change that ;) ). I have experience in impact play, bondage (cuffs more so than rope), sensory play, orgasm control/denial, wardrobe control, weekly rules, threesomes, pet play, CNC, and choking.
On the vanilla side, I enjoy a mixture of indoor and outdoor activities. I like hiking, biking, and going for short camping trips (really traveling in general, I take a yearly trip to Japan), as well as staying in for a nice movie night on the couch, board games or video games, and my more personal hobbies of writing and wood working.
As a Dom, I am primarily a Pleasure Dom, or Soft Dom. I do have my own interests and desires, and some of those fall more in line with power-play dynamics themselves, but often those take a backseat to the pleasure and exploration that my submissive is interested in. I am, more recently, trying to push a little bit on getting my own desires out there, and hope to create a happy balance between my own fantasies while giving my sub the type of dynamic scenes she craves.
Some of my own kinks include: light exhibitionism (nothing that would get us arrested but I enjoy watching my sub be daring in more private situations like a hike or near a hotel window), wardrobe control (specifically choosing what you wear if we go out on a date or what you wear around my house), and skin-on-skin contact (naked cuddling is a big, non-penetrative kink of mine). I also have some experience in Manhandling, but it's limited and it's something I'd like to explore more of. I'll leave some of my other interests a mystery for now--but in terms of our dynamic the only ones I require naked cuddling (great for aftercare anyway) and wardrobe control around my house. Anything else is all negotiable.
What I am looking for: BDSM for me is less about the physical aspect and more about the mental aspect/power dynamic at play. I get more enjoyment out of the mental game; I crave drawing out my submissive's inner desires and convincing her to indulge in them. As such, I am flexible in what dynamic we build, from regular dating with BDSM kept behind closed doors, to a more open dynamic where you might be walking around in a collar and harness when I have guests over (assuming the guests consent beforehand, of course).
I don't mind someone just a little needy; I enjoy texting throughout the day and nothing turns me on more than my submissive letting me know their desire for me (sexual or otherwise), and I want someone who is willing to ask if she can come over rather than someone who needs to wait for me to initiate every time. I'm looking for something between a woman who wants to lay naked in my arms and a woman who wants to be tied up and used until her mind is melted.
Vanilla-wise, I'd like someone who shares a few of my interests, but more so on the indoor side if nothing else. Someone who will sit on the couch and play games with me (you don't have to be good), and if we incorporate kink into that now and then even better. But I also want someone I can take out to the movies or Dinner, and I love going to live theater (stage plays). These activities do not have to involve any kink, and would be limited even if they did (as the general public typically doesn't consent).
I am happy to provide more details and lead the discussion to build a dynamic that fills both of our needs with my future submissive. With that in mind, the last things we need to discuss are requirements and limits.
Requirements: Note that I am not flexible on these requirements, with the exception of my age range. You must be assigned female at birth (I am open to gender non-conforming so long as you accept your sex as female), you must be drug and disease free (weed is tolerable but note that I do not allow smoking at my house), and you must be between a petite to average body type. Overweight and BBW are just not for me, largely due to me wanting to explore my manhandling fetish at the moment, but also because I work to stay in shape and improve my body and would like someone similar. My ideal age range is between 24-32, but as I said I am a little flexible on this (and this one only). If you fall outside the range, feel free to still message me, but I will add absolutely no one under 18 (obvious reasons), no one over 39, and if you are between 18-22 it won't be likely unless we match in almost every way.
Limits: I will not engage in anything illegal that would get us arrested, no blood play, vomit play, scat, hard impact play that results in severe bruising, no permanent scarring, hooks, knife play, age play, and do not call me "Daddy." For now, I will also add a soft limit of CNC scenes. I take awhile to warm up to that intensity and dark head space with a person, but if we click and work together long enough it will become more of an interest if its something you're into.
If you are still interested, fantastic! I would love to hear from you. Send me a message on Reddit, or a chat invite, and after we talk for a bit we can move to a better platform to continue our conversation. However, to help me weed out spam and because I think it's more fun than the usual opening message of "Hi," I've created a little game to play. Below are a few categories with traits you may have or situations you might find appealing. If you have the trait (for example, very long hair) or you like the situation (example, Kink game night), score the points! Tally up your score and include it in your first message to me. It gives you some idea of things I like, and it creates a fun little guessing game for me in return to figure out how you scored and our conversation can grow from there. Even if you have a low score, or are bad at math, feel free to reach out and send me a message if you feel you are absolutely the right submissive for me.
Ready?
Go!
Physical Traits
Very short hair (think pixie cut) - 10 points
Very long hair (to the middle of your back or longer) - 15 points
Dark hair color - 5 points
Red Hair - 15 points
Goth/Alternative look - 50 points
Pubic Hair - 75 points
Petite Body - 100 points
Vanilla Situations
Enjoy Video Games - 100 points
---Bonus 30 points if you play any of the following: Baldur's Gate 3, Conan Exiles, Monster Hunter, FF XIV
Enjoy Board Games - 150 points
Will Travel abroad - 30 points
Will go tent camping - 40 points
Love live theater - 75 points
Physical Affection is your main love language - 250 points
Kink Situations
Exhibitionism (assuming a private location, would walk around naked outdoors or be a little daring around a hotel window) - 50 points
Kink game night (wearing a harness and doing submissive acts like kneeling by my feet or getting drinks for the guests, not necessarily sexual acts) - 125 points
Willing to wear a collar all the time (day collar for more formal events) - 25 points
Free Use Weekend (an agreed weekend where you stay at my place and I can take you anytime, anywhere, during anything like it's just a normal activity) - 150 points
Love sending teasing texts during the day - 80 points
Bonus Round
Interested in a light TPE (specifically when you are at my house you are in sub mode) - 175 points
Speak Japanese - 1,000 points
Would serve with another submissive (after a dynamic between us is firmly established) - 1,500 points
Subreddit
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