There’s a storm coming. I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff, overlooking the ocean, with a warm mug of black coffee. I feel calm, and I feel relaxed. I feel sure about what I want. I feel in control. This is the first time this week I’m feeling this way.

I want to keep feeling this way.

Hi there,

I'm Vincent.

I suppose this is the part where I explain my self-ambivalence.

Meet Hank, Hector, and Harvey. Each element describes fairly distinctive part of my personality. (Although I swear I don’t have split personality disorder)

Meet Hank the Teddy Bear.

You’ll know the type of men I’m describing. Towering men of power, that look like they can’t hurt a fly. Gentle, caring, quirky, and funny. (That’s right ladies, a fucking Oxford Comma!)

Hank will always know how you’re doing, even before you tell him. He’ll know when you’ve conquered your day at work, and he’ll know when you’re upset. He’ll worry about you until you let him cheer you up.

Hank likes flirty conversations, being affectionate, and is a complete whore for cuddles. Laugh at Hank’s jokes, it’s his big weakness.

Hector, the Broken.

You’ll know the type of men I’m describing. Men that are a little broken, a little beaten down. Men that usually hide this part of their personality (often, not as well as they think).

Hector has good days and bad bays.

On good days, Hector will go for long walks on the beach with you, watch sunsets, and paint your nails.

On bad days, Hector just wants you to be patient with him. He doesn’t want you to try and solve things (really, he’s thought of everything), he just wants you around. He wants you to make conversation, and care just a little. Random-ass kisses help too.

Harvey, the Kinky.

You’ll know the type of men I’m describing. Men that pride themselves on being good at reading others, and situations. Men that are intelligent, measured, and dominant.

Harvey will earn your trust, your vulnerability, and your submission. He’ll be the happiest man in the world, when your toes are curled, and your fingers are grasping at the sheets in sweet agony. Tell Harvey about that kink you always wanted to explore, or that fantasy you can’t seem to get out of your head.

If you’re still here, and there’s a smile on your face you can’t quite explain, please know that I am over the moon. I love making people smile and laugh. Also, if you are smiling at this (and aren’t screaming in horror?) maybe you’re exactly what I’m looking for. Maybe you have your self-ambivalence you’d like to tell me about?

If you do decide to message me, I should be upfront about my love for voices and by extension, voice calls. After all, why endure the pain of being misunderstood over text, when I can revel at the sound of your sweet laugh?

Have a great day / night!

Vincent (also Hank, Hector, and Harvey)

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And now, for absolutely no reason at all, an excerpt from a TV script that I adore.

Seemed appropriate, considering there’s a storm coming, and I’m standing on a cliff.

Danny: We're both about to fall off a cliff. And I don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life, except I know what I don't wanna do. And on Inauguration Day, you're going to be released from that glorious prison on Pennsylvania Avenue, with...

C.J: No human skills?

Danny: Seems to me...

C.J: I should punch you in the face.

Danny: That's what I'm talking about.

C.J: Keep going...

Danny: So, if I'm gonna jump off the cliff, and you're gonna get pushed off the cliff, why don't we hold hands on the way down?