Hello there, gentlepersons (yes, that very much includes the shy wall-flower and the depraved slut alike).

Since getting back on Reddit, I've been reading this sub. Sometimes, I've had good laughs for the wit people have shown. Times enough I've found myself shaking my head in disbelief or frustration. But you don't get to criticize, without taking the effort to do things better yourself. So let's try and have a positive impact on this community.

So first all, who am I and what am I doing here? Well, BDSM-wise I'm a 43yo dominant, Master/Daddy-type, with a good two decades of experience to my name, both IRL and online. Plus some months as sub, back when I began my ventures into the lifestyle. Total disaster, but an experience I wouldn't want to miss either. "Vanilla me" isn't so much as an independent persona but what people see on the first and second glimpse: white-collar worker in a security consulting profession, biker, hiker and avid pub-goer - despite usually not even touching alcohol. I just haven't found pool, darts or cards sessions in a comparably comfortable and relatable setting. It's fair to say that I need some grime and some rough-edged people around me, to feel most at ease. Around the house you'll find me cooking. Most people are aware of what they stuff up their nether regions. I'd have hoped the same was true when it comes to gobbling things down.

"But wait, Tom" I here you say, "this is not the place to fret over society but to try and coax a damsel in distress or a wet vixen into your bed." I guess that's true. Although I don't primarily do beds, but I digress.

What am I looking for? I'm looking for a mental connection with a person that's fun to be around (I'll get back to that in a moment). I'm not looking for romance. That may or may not happen, but it's not a main goal. Nor am I looking for something short term / a fling. I enjoy teaching / mentoring. To guide, to correct, to mold and to see progress. Be that in becoming a more accountable person, a better submissive in general, overcoming reservations... you name it. I don't get off on seeing someone plug her ass. That's nice, sure, but in the end it's only an ass. I've had my fair share of these. But to see you struggling with they (be it for anxiety, pain or finding it embarrassing / humiliating), working our way into messaging your anus, working a first finger in, getting accustomed to having a plug in your purse, trying the feeling of cold steel on your skin... That's progress. That's mentally fulfilling. I guess you got the picture.

And who are you (and why do you take time out of your day to read all this)? Well, you are a curious person. Definitely someone that can laugh, about herself and the world in general. Because for one thing, being around people that have no humor (and be it black or sarcastic) is a pain in the ass. Second, from my experience a D/s dynamic is way easier and more pleasant to entertain, if both(!) parties involved can laugh with and at times at each others, in a good spirited manner. Life's hard enough. No need to make bdsm too. You may be green behind the ears or a slave of 30 years experience. A mother, a wife, a sophomore, of color or with the lovely white'ish skin of the Irish lass'. I honestly couldn't point a finger to what I'm "looking for", since I'm not really looking, but trying what fates got in store for me, this time around.

There are some red flags though. It should go without saying, but if you are into anything involving minors, if you consider permanent harm (physical or emotional) acceptable or if you have trouble understanding the concept of human dignity and universal human rights (and that very much includes being a TERF), I kindly ask you to pass this ad over. We wouldn't get along.

If you can wholeheartedly say that you aren't falling into one of these categories of bad persons and if you are curious about bdsm, be it drawing on knowledge or thinking about entering a D/s-dynamic, feel free to reach out to me.

I'm pretty sure that there are some bits I could have thrown in, in terms of self marketing, but I guess if I've piqued your interest, you'll take up my offer to ask me anything. After all, asking questions is the second best way to gain knowledge.