I''m not good at talking about myself and there is not much to write about.

I'm 31, have trouble holding down a job. I spend most of my day, day dreaming, doom scrolling, binging on something and compulsively masturbating to fucked up shit. I like animals, funny people and 2nd rate fantasy books. A life long desire to fit in and understand people gave me crippling anxiety, eternal frustration and a curiosity for how human minds work.

I suspect I got few mental illnesses, but never got diagnoised. I met a few therapists, realised therapists are human too, a good portion of them have no clue what they are doing and shit at their jobs, like the rest of us. I picked up more trust issues after babbling my life story and being vulnerable infront of pretentious douchebags. Half of them are privileged bitches who never experienced real life and think they can cure people by reading manuals and following instructions.

I have tried approaching women IRL and online, but my inability to hold conversations or eye contact and desperation to make a good impression summons ghosts.

I'm frustated with the shitty capitalistic world, my dumb self, selfish humans and life in general. Healthy option would be to work it out in the gym or meditate, but I'm an incel, I want to vent on a dumb slut. Degradation, humiliation, misogyny, spanking, name calling, TPE, watersports and more fun things.

My low self esteem has hard time believing anyone emotionally healthy and doing good will want me or stay with me. The qualities I'm looking for are toxic, obsessive, clingy, desperate, beta.. you get the gist, fucked up peope like me. I know this is all unhealthy but I'm too depressed and tired to work on myself, too lonely to be alone. I hope there are bitches out there, who get it. Being fucked up together with someone is still better than being fucked up alone.

Also, I'm from India. A good portion of you are closet racist cunts, who won't read past 'India' , so I saved it for the end. Send Bobs and vagene

I hope the post captured my incel vibes well. If you have read so far and don't say hi, you are an entitled bitch and fuck you.