Let’s try this again 🤗…

I am a 34 yo Black woman in search of a monogamous Dom who I can explore and cultivate a D/s relationship with. 

I want to highlight the monogamous part. For me, monogamy provides a container in which trust, intimacy, and vulnerability can be established. These are necessary components of any relationship but even more so in a D/s dynamic. That being said, I’m only interested in connecting with Doms who know that they desire/prefer to be in a committed, monogamous relationship.

I am not new to BDSM; however, I consider myself as “evolving" in my sub identity/style. I am most excited by/curious about service submission, free use, ownership, and DDlg. 

In my vanilla life, I work as a therapist (mental health), which is very fulfilling. Outside of that, I love to read, bike, swim, weightlift, crochet, dance, cook, be in nature, go on adventures (mainly to natural settings like the forest or the beach) and ponder the meaning of life LOL!  I describe myself as having a "squirrel brain." The world feels expansive and limitless to me. I know that I can't possibly do it all, learn it all, experience it all, but that doesn't stop me from trying!! I am the epitome of "doing too much" and I frequently need to be reminded to chill the fuck out. 

As someone who is responsible for the care of many,  I crave a safe space where I can be cared for. Direction and (consensual) control are forms of care for me 🤗 I crave a space where I can be small--not having to do it all, know it all, take care of it all--without that being experienced as a burden, but as a gift and delight. 

What I want: I want a Dom who is patient, playful, compassionate and nurturing, who can also be stern, assertive, and firm when needed. 

I love a Dom who uses his power to uplift and build up his sub and not just to big up his ego or satisfy his wants 🤤

I am open to pain play #spanko and enjoy it to a certain extent, but that is not at the center of what I am seeking. I am mainly intrigued by the psychological and emotional aspects of D/s. I more so desire care, play, exploration, and guidance…and great sex 🤣

In terms of control/rules… this is an area that needs ironing out. I definitely have an ownership kink but I am also very independent and willful, which are traits I love about myself. I’m still trying to figure out what the happy medium is. That being said, I am most excited about exploring control within a sexual context or even within the context of service, especially within the home, but not in my day to day life (like choosing what I wear or eat). I do enjoy tasks and rules though…and to be disciplined when appropriate 😈

I'd like a Dom who is somewhat experienced and has a strong sense of their Dom identity and what they need to feel fulfilled in a D/s dynamic. 

There are other things I could name, but this is a good starting place. 

Oh! I'll add that I do not intend to jump quickly into sex or play. If you are unwilling to allow space to get to know one another FIRST, I am not the sub for you.  

What I can give: I will admit that I am not fully sure of the answer to this question. This is something I would like to explore within our dynamic-- what I enjoy giving as a sub. I try to be intentional about reciprocity in my relationships. The ideal is for my submission in itself to feel recharging and inspiring to my Dom and be received as a gift, and for me to have the same reverence for my Dom's care and control. Things I know I enjoy giving-service (cooking, cleaning, sex, etc). I could see myself being a sexy house slave or something LOL! I also aim to be a source of peace, joy, fun, and adventure!

If you made it this far, gold star for you! 🤣 you might as well slide into my inbox