The first time my prostate was stimulated I knew life was now different, that I was different. When people talk about how good something sexual felt, THIS is what they meant. Those explosions behind the eyes, the uncontrollable moaning, whimpering, and drooling, the immediate direct-trip to subspace, the trembling… it is a moment I will never forget and that I can still picture perfectly.

In my last relationship, I took a submissive role for the first time. Chastity and milking were two things she introduced me to. Despite that relationship ending three years ago, now I wear a chastity cage the vast majority of the time- it’s removed for cleaning or to change which cage I’m wearing, but that’s about it.

I mention this upfront, despite it being rather unsavory introductory speech, because it is incredibly important to me. Chastity is not a one-month activity to me, or a punishment, or something to be rewarded with a release from… the threat of being released would be a terribly harsh punishment, close to a hard limit. I am happy to transfer ownership of the keys if things progress, of course, but removing chastity for any significant period of time is a hard limit.

With that aside, hello! I thank you for tolerating a bit of an odd start, before we reach the part of the personals ad where I mention I’m forty-two, single, ENM, never been married, no children, financially secure, emotionally stable, educated, and chivalrous. I have a vast array of interests, and I’m always eager to add more. I love movies, both the discussion and viewing of, stand-up comedy, travel, cooking, fine dining… I am comfortable in almost any situation, and generally can find the fun in anything.

Speaking of comfortable, I am supremely comfortable in my own skin. I’m a big man, both tall and broad, and if that’s not your tastes, I’ll wish you the best now. I have a most excellent beard, brilliant eyes, and I’m handsome as all get-out, if I do say so myself! I’m happy to exchange pictures privately.

I have multiple tattoos, many visible in short sleeves. Most have literary origins, inspired by the written word and now etched on me forever. Again, not everyone’s cup of tea, and if not, I hope you find what you’re looking for soon!

I have a career I love- there’s time for the people I care about, but I truly enjoy the time I spend working. I’m self-employed, and my clients mean the world to me, with some reaching out still years later for help or to share their victories. I work mostly from home, and my schedule is predictable yet flexible. While I am ethically non-monogamous, that more applies to my partners. I am unlikely to pursue others, although I would love to find someone with a primary. My own emotional needs are rather minimal, and I’m not always the best at things that require an empathetic touch.

At work, I am always in control. As a consultant, I’m frequently outside the traditional change of command, giving me freedom to speak in ways others can’t. As a submissive, I am obedient and eager to please. While I’m happy to offer opinions and choices when asked, I am happiest simply being told what we’re doing, when, where, and what I need to do beforehand. While I do have a strong masochistic streak, both emotional and physical, I will do anything to avoid punishment. I want you to hurt me because you enjoy it, not punish me for mistakes. The thought of disappointing my owner is shattering.

So what do I seek? I seek, ultimately, an owner. The shape that takes and precisely what it means is much more flexible. I want to conform this to you, after all- if you’re happy, I’ll be happy. That’s really the secret to my root menu, if you will- tell me what you want and let me crave to provide it. Mention your whims and let me fret over making them reality. Teach me your kinks and watch me absorb and embrace them. When I know what makes you happy, I know I’m doing the right thing and everything else falls away.

Thank you for reading this. If you’d like to know more, I am entirely an open book, and happy to discuss whatever you’d like. If this is the end of our time together, thank you so much again and I wish you all the luck in the world.