I would like to chat with men - in a BDSM context - as I am really bad at it and want to improve conversations skills.

I am open to converse with women but since I would like to include sexual talk and I am straight, my preference is men.

To put it simply, I am socially awkward. I grew up in a dysfunctional family and was isolated most of my childhood and now I am unable to bond with people for the life of me.

I can't make friends and I downloaded Bumble on someone's advice here. I had matches with successful high-value men (dominant and subsmissive) and while some of them called me good looking, I was unable to hold a conversation for the life of me. They did not seem to care because we could talk in-person but I do care because I wish I could dirty talk and be more engaging. It's a turn on to be able to arouse men like it but I suck at it. Because or my lack of social skills I feel like an anxious clumsy average child talking to a man.

I am an enigma to myself. I hardly know myself but there are a few things I know:

• I only have two main interests: bdsm and self-development. I feel like that says something about me.

• I would qualify myself as a Switch. If I had to pick one or the other, I'd say dominant but it wouldn't be faithful to my sexual preferences. Being a submissive would be more frustrating than enjoyable but I do enjoy being roughed up and dominant men do excite me just as much as helpless whimpering submissive men do. I just like to receive and give great sex so Switch seems fitting.

• I am more of a homebody who enjoys cozy activities rather than an adrenaline junkie but I feel like me being a homebody is just a by-product of being isolated and lack of skills. Sometimes I wish I was a bit more wild.

• I used to be a straight A student but I dropped out of college and cannot work for now as I am healing from a health condition. I feel dumb and I probably sound dumb to most but I know I have potential.

• Another thing I know about myself is that I like comedies and I would like to be more knowledgeable about fitness as I'd like to tone my body more but I haven't found a good routine yet.