Kind of have had an awful day and just want to feel useful.
I've been in the industry for about a year and a half now, starting right after I turned 19 and found myself an agent. This was never my original plan. I originally planned to go to college, received partial scholarship and even had the luxury of choosing between a few schools I got accepted to. Things didn't work out. Maybe I lucked out, maybe I fucked up - I think it's too late to regret what happened.
So here I am, literally having sex in front of the camera for a living. The pay is good but I'm worried about my future. I haven't spoken to my parents in a while. All I see on social media is my friends enjoying college, getting ready to graduate and start their lives. I don't think people who recognize me in the street knows how awful that feels. Sure the pay was good at first and it did feel empowering to be able to do whatever the hell I wanted but I'm not so sure anymore. A part of me regrets this but another part of me doesn't want to accept it because the thought scares the living crap out of me.
I'm not here for sympathy. I don't need a white in shining armor.
I wanted to be humiliated, degraded. I want a wake-up call.
Hoping to find someone to message at first and after building some trust, play on voice calls.
PS. Anyone stupid enough to think I will just tell you my stage name, real name or any other thing that would help you identify yourself will be blocked. Fuck off, seriously.
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