I've tried dating apps, Feeld, Fetlife. They're all rife with guys who "just need" some desire filled with no thought about what they bring to the table, or women selling their only fans. More power to them but it makes it really challenging to find that person where things just click. Like everyone on this sub, I have desires - but chief among them is a healthy, loving relationship.

I'll tell you a little about me to pique your interest, and then a little about what I'm looking for to see if you want to reach out.

I'm 38, single, with two kids - additionally, I can't have any more kids (a plus for some, not for others). Wanted to be open about that to start, to save you some reading. Beyond that - I'm educated, witty, empathetic (to a fault, at times), and am a good communicator. I speak my mind as much as I listen - it's about balance, yknow? I've been through therapy, I'm over my ex (we coparent just fine), I know my attachment style and love languages and understand why you may prefer to meet a bear in the woods over a man. I'm very open minded, I love to learn and have conversations about everything (especially what you're into), but I also don't put up with bullshit or games. Physically, I'm 5'8", brown hair, light blue eyes, clean cut, and with a little bit of a dad bod that I'm working on.

Romantically? I lean hard to the pleasure dom side, although I may be open to a switch as it's just never been something I've experienced. My happy place is getting my partner off, repeatedly - learning every inch of their body and orchestrating their moans like a concert pianist elicits beautiful crescendos from the instrument they've spent considerable time mastering. I want to learn what you love and get you to a point where you are incapable of stringing a sentence together, your staccato sentences and pleas punctuated with moans, shivers, and repeated waves of pleasure. I want to help you explore and explore myself in the process, and afterwards lay together in a pile and let the dopamine halo wear off as I play with your hair as you hear my heartbeat in my chest slow to it's regular pace. I want you to feel desired and cared for and safe, as we both know the true power in d/s lies in the sub.

I short, I want everything. I want love, passion, and happiness. I want a partner who is looking to add to their life and not looking for someone to be their sole source of joy as that is untenable. I want a romance for the ages, and the gleeful thought of what people who knew us would look like if they had even an inkling of what we do behind closed doors. I want to be your biggest cheerleader, best friend, and the best fuck you've ever had - with a goal to beat that personal best every time we sleep together.

Pie in the sky? Maybe. But you're out there - I know it. My hope is you're local, and you're just as tired of the dating app bullshit as I am and want a partner who values you for who you are and not for what you could be or what you can do. Hopeless romanticism or naivete, I'm hoping you read this and reach out. Let's start with our last first date.