I’m sure some of my other posts on my profile would get the idea across, but being a senior in college doesn’t really give me time to explore my body or my sexual interests. I’ve always thought I was a lesbian, or maybe even asexual completely, because the idea of getting with anyone freaks me out (and having crippling OCD does NOT help). I’m a virgin in every sense of the word- I haven’t even kissed anyone. And while I’m usually busy doing homework or anything else, sometimes I get reaaaaally needy.

It’s usually when I’m ovulating but every month and a half or so I get so unlike myself that it’s like I’m a completely different person. I think if any of my friends knew some of the things I get off to, they wouldn’t believe me because it just doesn’t seem like me at all. I’m a shy and reserved person so they always joke that I’m more vanilla than a nun, but sometimes when I get horny that all goes out the window.

It’s to the point where I’ll speed walk back to my dorm from class just so I can throw my backpack on the ground, hop into bed and start rubbing my pussy to the most depraved stuff I can find on here. Misogyny, conversion, somno, dubious sex (like when someone is drunk and out of it), forcing a girl to cum over and over again until her brain is mush… all that stuff turns me on so much. I’m not a fan of pain or hard degradation but the thought of being tortured to cum over and over is really hot to me. Or a girl being conditioned/brainwashed to do a full personality change. as a nerdy girl myself, the thought of someone messing with me over time until i’m a dumb slut and i haven’t even noticed is also very hot to me.

What am I looking for, though? Well, as I mentioned, having OCD, safety is a big paranoia of mine so the odds of me actually meeting up with someone are slim to none. I’ve tried talking to people on here in the past but I usually get scared away when the ‘wtf am i doing’ clarity hits once in awhile. but, i’ll be totally honest: my masturbation game sucks. it’s awful. i don’t even think i’m cumming because when i orgasm (or feel like i do) it’s like a 3/10 intensity and then i’m bored. or on the other end of the spectrum, i can get so into it that my legs shake but i get overwhelmed and stop. no sweet spot or in between, nothing. that’s why i’m hoping there’s someone i can mesh well with that would understand my needs (specifically that i’m not jumping at the chance to meet up with someone and even sending pictures freaks me out), but also want to make sure I stay here and turn into the dumb cockslut I’m supposed to be instead of shying away.