Welcome, weary traveler- Kidding. Hello! Here I am, trying my luck for the third effing time, to find a special someone to call Daddy. I might end up yapping in this post, so let me start off by listing a couple of very important points (as a warning) about myself and what I am searching for! (I know that this post is 10 paragraphs far too long for this sub, sue me.)

First of all, I don't do flings. I devote myself to someone for centuries in a vampire-esque way. If you're seeking for something short-term and purely sexual, I am not for you. I require emotional connection which may take time to build.

List of-dare I say-very important.... stuff!

• I have BPD, depression, severe anxiety and social anxiety, as well as ADHD. (This isn't even my final form!)
• I can be extremely clingy and needy for your attention (but also understanding, if you're busy). I am a very affectionate, and I am also a very honest person, and I expect the same type of honesty from you.
• I am demisexual, so please do not force sexual conversations early on as it would make me feel very uncomfortable. I would appreciate it if we could take the time to build a bit of trust first. (Don't be in my DMs all like "u wan sum fuk?" cause I'm gonna flip-) I will refuse any sexual-only connections.
• What I am searching for may be something more akin to a relationship. (Strictly monogamous. I absolutely cannot do poly situations, or else it'll trigger one of my many mental disorders)
• I am from Asia, (No, I don't want you for your citizenship-), and I don't mind a LDR with the thought of meeting someday.
• Where you are from doesn't matter to me, but preferably from somewhere where our timezone isn't 12-15 hours apart because that is oof :( (I'm okay with 6-8 hours difference!)
• Age range: 26~35. As long as you're under 35! (Nothing against anyone above 35, you're lovely!)
• I actually prefer a man who is strict, serious (but not so serious? I'll get scared–) and able to lead but gentle, loving and caring, and attentive to me so that I wouldn't be scared to talk to you (Which is honestly ironic of me for liking a no-nonsense type of guy because I'm full of nonsense!!)
• I also like someone who has a routine/schedule, so that I'll know when you wake up, when you go to work/get home from work, when you go to sleep and stuff! (So that I wouldn't think you're abandoning me. I have a huge fear of abandonment.)
• Uhm... I prefer cats over dogs. Scratch that, I absolutely love cats! Send me pictures of your little fluffy babies!
• Preferred form of communication is texting, but we may move to voice calls once I feel more comfortable! It may take a bit of time though, I'm very, very anxious...

With that out of the way, here begins my yapping!

Please, please be very patient with me as I have extreme anxiety. If you're still reading this, then I'll know that my points above haven't scared you off. (Yet. Maybe? Probably?) I won't go ahead and list out all of my trauma here, that's for you to find out if we click! But here's a little bit more about me :) I have pale skin, barely 5ft (just a little bit below 5ft. Not a midget, I swear), 48kg, short black hair, dark brown eyes and I wear a pair of glasses. Favourite food? Sweets! Everything sugar and desserts!

I can be a bit of a brat or sassy due to my extreme curiosity, my love for teasing and banters, and honestly because I'm just a silly little bean. I am fairly new to the lifestyle, and would like to be with someone who has the patience to teach me slowly and with care without pushing all of my boundaries too quickly and scaring me away. I may also be a bit of a psycho and very obsessive, just a heads up! (It's the trauma–)

Currently, I am not in university nor do I have a job, but for a good reason (Physical diseases, you may ask me more!). I'd love to have someone who would be able to encourage me to be a better version of myself as I am trying to set new goals for my life and future, set proper routines and schedules for me (Yep. Sleep schedule died along with my will to live), and generally just lead me because I worry too much that I can't get anything done (Work mostly) I feel paralyzed due to my anxiety of everything.

I may apologize a lot or too much because I constantly feel like a bother. I have so much trauma and have been emotionally abused far too many times and may even push you away without meaning to. Even if I like talking to you, I may not send a text if I feel like I'm a bother or if I feel like I'm annoying you. Please be patient with me. I promise I'm trying to be better.

Communication is extremely important to me. Please always tell me if you're busy so I don't think that you're abandoning me already, it's one of my biggest trauma. I know I can be a bit difficult, But I will always try my best to communicate each and every one of my thoughts to you, I just wish for understanding and trust. (And honestly, if you're annoyed or tired and done with me, just say it to my face instead of ghosting/blocking me. Trust me, I'll appreciate it even more.)

A little bit more about my hobbies! (You're probably like, damn, she's still yapping? What about the kinks?!-)
Nuh-uh, be patient.

✰ Gaming — I spend most of my time on my computer, and play a wide range of games from cozy, to some competitive games and RPGs or MMORPGs! Favourites are definitely Monster Hunter, Baldur's Gate 3, Red Dead 2, Yakuza/Judgment series, Skyrim, Final Fantasy XV and the likes! (At the moment, I'm thinking of trying out Ghost of Tsushima, but I'm unsure! Do tell me your thoughts!) I also play some Hoyoverse gacha games on the side such as Honkai Star Rail and Zenless Zone Zero! (I quit Genshin because Qiqi wouldn't stop haunting me–)

✰ Music! — From Beethoven, Chopin, Francisco Tárrega, Sarasete to Queen, King Crimson, Whitesnake, Pink Floyd, Dire Straits to My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco!, to Portugal. The Man, Glass Animals, Foster The People, Sleep Token? I listen to literally everything! I'd love to listen to what you like too :) (It's okay if you don't have anything to share, I'll send cute cheesy songs to you instead!)

✰ I absolutely love to read as well! Mostly romantasy books like ACOTAR. (Predictable, I know, but I haven't finished it yet, I've been too busy reading other books!) Sometimes I draw on my tablet, write cheesy short stories or practice the piano! I also love to collect cute things. I have over 30 stuffies and my favourites are my bunnies and a little gingerbread man!

✰ I have an unhealthy amount of memes saved and counting. (Self-proclaimed memelord right here) Just know that if we talk, I might slip in one or two! (I won't be cringe, I promise. I'm good at reading the room!!) Or if I want to talk to you without knowing what to talk about, I might just send you random memes Imao. (Wait until this nightmare unleashes upon you where I'll send a picture of two hashbrowns and say "omg us!")

Unfortunately, I'm not into anime despite it all, so I wouldn't be able to talk much about anime (except for maybe one or two, but I'm mostly not... that interested in anime.) I do have a diabolical and dark sense of humour, so I may laugh at inappropriate things :< (It's the trauma, I swear.)

Do tell me your favourite food when you message me so that I know you're not a bot! This message is placed in the middle of this long ass post to filter out the ick people! (Full offense if you're one of the ick people. Yes, you know who you are, posting unsolicited peanits pics in my DMs!!)

And now... drum roll please! Or not, if you skipped all of my yapping to jump straight into this list. (Yes, I'm judging you.) My Kinks! There may be more... but that's for me to learn! Again, I'm new to all this!

• Hand-holding (This is a joke.... or is it??)
• Forehead kisses
• Being told I'm loved and enough–
• Light bondage
• Orgasm control/forced/denial
• Praise (I love, love, love being called cutesy names! It just makes me melt)
• Sleep play
• Breeding
• If you have a hot/soothing voice... (um, let me just fetch the marriage papers–)

I'm curious about a couple of other kinks which I won't list here, but as for my limits, they are:

• Pain/Impact play (I mean... c'mon, I'm Asian, my parents already did this to me when I was younger. I'm okay with some light spanking here and there, though! But face is absolutely off limits.)
• Extreme degradation and humiliation (Let's not ruin what minuscule self-esteem I have left-)
• Pet play
• Age play
• Anal play
• Scat, blood, vomit, etc.
• Kids, animals, violence, gore, illegal stuff, all that jazz. (I'm not kinkshaming, I'm just kinkasking why?)

If you've gotten through my kinda shitposty cringe self ad, thank you so much for reading! In case you're just like me and have forgotten everything you've read, I'll summarize a bit about what kind of person I'm looking for. Someone caring, understanding and patient and won't push me too far too quickly, someone who wouldn't mind me yapping in his DMs, someone who wouldn't get annoyed by me sending random memes, someone who communicates- Okay, yknow what? I forgot the rest too. Just scroll up or ask me if you need more info :sob:

I've yapped too much with my possibly broken?? Asian english, but if you've made it this far, you're insane and have nothing better to do!! I mean, who would even read all that? Not me!! Thank you so much :) (And yes, I copy-pasted this from last time, with a little bit more added info, don't judge me if you've seen this long post before–)