I have recently been thinking about how, at the centre of my kink, is the desire to be controlled. It’s not revolutionary, I’m unfortunately obsessed with maintaining a sense of control in my life in order to feel successful, put together and productive. And I think that those traits are fruitful to achieving my goals and aspirations, an amount I am pretty proud of given my age. But, this constant need to feel in control in my public and professional life has created this want… maybe even need… for the support and comfort that comes with being fully controlled.
I think that’s why I get so turned on by otherwise domestic or non-hyper sexual rules that I’m required to follow like bedtimes or inappropriate language restrictions.
I am also an immense brat that loves pushing boundaries and testing thresholds before, inevitably, feeling the need to obey.
I just feel like I can’t give that obedience to just anyone, I truly think I need them to be better than me - smarter, more capable. I want to feel intimidated by your intelligence and ability, and want to be seeking your approval.
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