First of all, brace yourself for a long post of prose, because I don't do short and sweet - well, sometimes I'm sweet.

Looking for someone who wants a dynamic but also a relationship, however you want to term it - dates, kinky sex, intelligent conversation, shared interests, more kinky sex. This will also possibly be the most picky post you've ever read, but I want to find the right person.

About me:

• I'm bisexual, but looking for a male partner (who would be okay with us sometimes sharing a female 3rd)

• Looking for a connection, not anything casual.

• I don't share photos immediately due to work, and you're more likely to see my arse before my face!

• Recently separated but a parent, and ideally you are someone who also has kids, or at least understands the weird and wonderful hours parents have to keep.

• 5' 6", curvy, (size 16), bratty sadomasochistic submissive.

• Brunette-red hair and blue eyes

• Likes pineapple on pizza. I will die on this hill.

• Hugely turned on by a dark sense of humour, high intelligence, and a love of trying new things in life.

• I'm a bit of a nerd, and I love to get stuck into learning a new subject. Talk to me about anything academic, it's honestly a turn-on if you know your stuff.

• Love gaming, especially the Fallout series, as well as reading and writing.

• Constantly listening to metal of all kinds, from prog to heavy to melodic. Also like Classical music music, though, 80s dance music, and 50s rockabilly.

• I have a huge desire for novelty, and like to try most new things. But my favourite kinks have to be: CNC, spanking, degradation and humiliation (in some very specific ways), bondage, anal, masochism, and orgasm control. I like a lot of others, but that's a longer conversation.

About you (ideally!):

• Dominant, 35 - 40ish, who is caring but also very sadistic, both physically and psychologically. I love the switch between a kind, gentle, thoughtful man in public to a dark, depraved sadist who enjoys hurting me (consensually) in private.

• Dark sense of humour

• Has a lot of the same things in common with me

• Highly intelligent

• Could teach me about maths (or chosen academic subject - mine is actually history)

• Is brutally honest almost to a fault

• Did I mention sadistic? Just in case. Not looking for a gentle Daddy Dom. ;)

• Prefer a rugby player style dad bod to gym bod

• Tall (being tallish for a woman, I love feeling more submissive alongside a tall, broad man)

• Gorgeous eyes

• Deep voice...bonus points for a Scottish, Irish or Norwegian accent, which I appreciate is ridiculously specific and not at all required, haha!

I want to get to know someone for a while before we meet in person, so if you don't like the idea of taking more than a week to vet someone, I'm probably not for you. And I love NSFW conversation as much as anyone else, but some actual conversation about other things too, obviously.

I'm also happy to share photos if we click, over a more secure app than Reddit.