I'm scared things will continue this way, I'm sad, and I feel abandoned. Specifics aren't that important nor would it be that smart for me to share them but I started a new job and it isn't going how it was planned. And now I dread going back and being surrounded by my coworkers who are seemingly getting what was planned. But I don't have to stay and die like cattle. I could change my name and ride up to Seattle. But I don't own a motorbike. Here's an option that I like: scream into the void and hope that one day the right person stumbles upon this, reads through all my posts, finds me, and wow! yay! isn't that amazing! isn't that stupendous! The person who makes everything perfect for me is here and we live happily ever after. There isn't really any point in posting this, but hey if you found it annoying you probably already stopped reading and don't even remember this.
I want someone to read through all my posts, fully understand me and say "hi sweetie you must be so scared and overwhelmed come here and let me hold you i'll make it all better" and i want to believe them. I don't want to have to think or answer things like "describe yourself" "what are looking for" i want someone who gets it, gets me. I want someone who fills me. To me that's what the dd/lg dynamic is. That warmth and closeness, that reassurance, not having to be put together, being able to just vomit a bunch of dumb words into a text and the other person loving you for it. Whatever I'll make it through today and tomorrow and the next so no worries to anyone still reading. But I would like a daddy to open myself up to. I'm based in the DMV but I'll be in Austin Texas next week Monday-Thursday.Â
Fingers crossed this reaches you daddy I really want you to be real
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