Intelligence has been my primary criterion of sexual attraction for quite some time now, but gleefully screaming "BRAAAINS!" at the top of my lungs has the unintended consequence of causing a zombie apocalypse panic, so I thought it best to restrict my search for a sapiosexual FWB to online spaces. Will you and your luminous neurons come validate my misguided optimism, or do I keep shambling around the place like a Shaun of the Dead extra?

I am a professional linguist, amateur writer, and a semi-pro introvert with plenty of friends but not enough benefits, and I'm on the lookout for an elusive unicorn: a clever, articulate, kinky, emotionally intelligent cis woman who's partial to witty banter, book discussions, exercises in post-irony, accidentally deep conversations, and consensual kinxploration. While I'm not seeking a long-distance relationship or romantic entanglement, I do want to experience that special connection where the two minds operate on the same wavelength and produce colourful sparks of mutual attraction in the encroaching dark. Perhaps the chance to find something like that in the vast void of Horny Reddit is infinitesimal, but you miss 100% of the cumshots you don't take, right?

Kink-wise, I'm a dom-leaning switch who particularly enjoys rough, passionate, energetic sex with feral vibes that involves choking, hair pulling, impact play (slapping, spanking, whipping, belting); filthy banter liberally sprinkled with degradation and humiliation, freeuse, breeding, biting, spit play, cum play, maledom of many flavours, non-penetrative femdom on occasion, cock worship, exhibitionism, facefucking, and group sex. Of course, the three pillars of truly memorable online smut are a good grasp of grammar, vibrant imagination, and chemistry worthy of Mendeleev himself, and these take priority over perfect kink compatibility any day of the week. I always respect my partner's limits and don't attempt to push past them, expecting the same in return. My own hard limits are anything to do with toilet, vomit, permanent damage, gore, animals, furries, DD/lg, age regression, receiving anal, and cuckoldry. I'm not the kind of bloke who thrives in a 24/7 TPE arrangement and much prefer a healthy mix of chill friendship on an equal footing and scenarios where I remind you of your place and make you crave it with whimpering gratitude.

Looks-wise, I'm 6'3" tall, pale, long-limbed, with dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, and a neat beard; overall somewhere on the spectrum between geek chic and decidedly unhip lumberjack. A charming fellow or so I'm told, but tastes differ and I accept that I may not be your cup of tea. I would rather avoid folks who prefer to keep these kinds of connections strictly textual because I do want to see, show, speak, and listen, all at the pace that suits us both; I am, however, more comfortable with thoughtful exchanges via text above all else.

As for the general interests and potential ice-breaking topics, I can offer voracious reading (from fantasy to contemporary; Tolkien, Pratchett, Frances Hardinge, McEwan, Julian Barnes, Joseph Heller, McKillip, AS Byatt), indie rock/folk and post-rock (The Mountain Goats, Big Thief, Sharon van Etten, The National, GY!BE), British comedy (David Mitchell for PM!) and intelligent sitcoms from both sides of the pond (Always Sunny, Curb, Arrested Development), films by Christopher Nolan, Edgar Wright, and Wes Anderson, role-playing video games (Baldur's Gate, Pillars of Eternity, Neverwinter Nights), creative writing, European history, steampunk, languages, football (of the round ball variety).

If you saw something you liked, slide into my PMs/DMs without delay!