Speaking of late bloomer… So I got engaged at the beginning of this year, never into BDSM before (didn’t really have too much knowledge about it either) and few months ago it’s like a switch turned on in my brain, I just became curious about this and did my research and grew more and more into it, now I know I’m 100% a sub and a brat. I shared this transition with my fiancé ofc and he has been understanding and supportive, and we tried to have him act dom but he. Is. Really. Not. As a matter of fact, he can be a little subby sometimes. So instead of spicing things up, when he tries to dominate me, I actually get turned off bc I know he’s faking and only doing this for me but not for his own desire/pleasure if it makes sense. So the past few months, I have been very excited yes bc it’s like I discovered a hidden identity and I’m really proud of myself, but I’m also extremely lost, don’t know where this awakening would lead me/us to.
The more we have tried, the more my kinky side gets deprived from our relationship. It’s like my brain can’t acknowledge him in the bedroom anymore and I just can’t allow myself to submit to him. I feel really torn apart bc we love each other and everything else in our relationship has remained as sweet and constructed as it was. I have this strong urge to be taught and owned and roughly treated and it’s growing by day. I don’t know how to deal with it any more or how else I can talk with my fiancé about it. I feel like a stray.
I want to know if ppl have had similar experiences and how you cope with it. I have so many questions, and I need someone to give me a little encouragement and energy boost please🥲🥲🥲
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