It took me a while to realize I was more sub than dom. My first foray into kink was domming a causal hookup with a generous degradation kink. I'm good at it, and it turns out that's in high demand.

I'm a switch, but actually the kinks that make me melt are as a submissive (humiliation, forced/premature ejaculation). Yeah, I get off on power, but getting put in my place perks my ears.

Eventually, I noticed that the woman I gravitate toward are mean girl types. The "bad" girl who has a vicious streak but isn't a total piece of work (although maybe she's done some questionable things). A woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind and neg you. When she makes a dig, you know there's truth there, and it makes me wriggle in my seat with anticipation.

To me, that personality is genuinely dominant. It isn't a role but a characteristic of that person, for whom I can flip things around on but never truly overtake.

I'm secure in myself: I'm fit, decent looking, have a good job, and take pride in what I create as a writer. I wasn't always this way. Puberty hit late, mental illness stunted my social development; I was short, skinny, awkward, and looked too young. Those deficits self-corrected with time, mostly. I'm still short but it doesn't really bother me. I'm confident, a little self-obsessed, but there is a hint of insecurity buried in the subconscious you can never entirely get away from.

For me it isn't toxic. Actually, it's fun.

Now, to my point. It'd be nice to have a woman, a switch or a domme, who is into corralling a man like me. Into breaking me down-pressing all the buttons that make a cocky SOB feel timid and vulnerable. If you can get me to submit, I'll be smitten. Doing it while being a bit "bitchy" is even more alluring. I'm into switching, but it is also hot to imagine being dominated so hard, genuinely humiliated so well that I lose the ability to flip it in the other direction.

If you stuck with me through my whole post, shoot me a DM.