I find myself falling into the arms of those that don’t know how to touch a man, both physically and metaphorically. It’s quite frustrating.

Perhaps this is me hungering for the unattainable once again...

Obsession. Possession. Ownership. Protection.

Such a toxic and addictive delicacy, I call love. It's what I do. I yearn for the sort of things in life people no longer give. Like flowers picked up on a random Tuesday. Hand written letters, although old fashioned, I’ve always been fascinated with the English language and the way words can carry such depth and meaning and can convey things such as love, regret and pain. Like did you know that words can be forgotten? Someday, words like compunctious or irregardless may eventually fade away. We’ll stop using them and such words that were once use to express ourselves will be forgotten.

Someone showing up outside of my window with a boombox, burning a CD or recording a cassette with songs dedicated to me, going out dancing, basket picnics, getting me something because it reminded them of me, making love in the kitchen as Kenny G plays and our food burns haha.

What can I say, I’m a hopeless romantic.

I always find something to love in people. I wonder if they too, find something to love in me.

I wonder if what they see in me is enough for someone to provide their guidance and affection.

I’m not starved of love. In fact, I’m quite loved.

But we do lack passion nowadays. Intensity. Devotion. Excitement. Adventure. Adoration. Intimacy. Depth.

I'm not entirely sure where I’m going with this. I often ramble and my words get lost in the same wind that often tends to knock on the window of those that like me, get cold. I suppose it explains why we seek warmth in one another.

Sighs

I guess I’m looking for a path to free my deepest self, demons included.

A path with unlimited possibilities.

Could I be a father figure who can listen and take care of you

After all, gaps just feel right, don't they? They add something unspeakable and non-tangible to a relationship.

Can you feel genuine respect or adoration for someone your own age? This is me calling out for someone younger than me. You need my guiding hand as much as I need a good girl to educate and train.

Can you feel the undescribable rush of prey offering itself up to a predator?

You know that with my size I could overpower you and have you , so you open yourself to me and offer surrender in exchange for protection.

You see, I’m both sides of the coin. Somewhere deep beneath my sweet and loving demeanor hides a depravity not everyone understands. I hunger for darkness.

Ideally, I'd treat you better than you thought you ever deserved, in every depraved and despicable manner there is

So I’m here, speaking into your ears, baiting you to come out of hiding.

This is me calling out for you once again. A father figure who can listen and take care of you. Someone, who has a curiosity and interest in the emotional and psychological aspects of dominance. Do you look for my father in every man you meet.. perhaps, in you too..I might get attached.

Are you lost in the storm of life, maybe I can be the lighthouse that calls you home and keeps you warm?