While I am open to more casual connections (No ONS or online only) my primary focus in this post is on a long term romantic relationship with a power exchange dynamic. I’ll put the logistics up front to get them out of the way. Physical touch is my primary love language so I would prefer a partner who wants to move in together eventually (potentially get married). Realistically I recognize that a period of getting to know each other online before meeting up is often necessary. I believe in taking things slowly to ensure compatibility and build trust. I prefer partners who have experience communicating directly and are able to set and maintain healthy boundaries.

I do have preferences with regard to play and power exchange dynamics, but I am also very eclectic and am open to a wide range. I believe in letting a dynamic grow organically based on mutual interests. I don’t want to fit anyone into a mold I have. In my experience being open to the possibilities has created the opportunity for some truly inspired connections.

Guardrails:

I believe in creating an environment where risk awareness, consent, and communication are the priority. I use RACK, PRICK, and FRIES consent as guidelines for how to negotiate, play, and debrief. I use inclusive negotiations and no means no unless we explicitly agree otherwise. I am human and I do make mistakes. I prioritize taking responsibility when I make a mistake over unrealistic expectations of perfection. Basically “Call me out if I mess up.”

Activities I am interested in:

In terms of in person play I have extensive experience with a wide range of physical, psychological, and combined play. From light impact play to heavy interrogation scenes. I enjoy CNC, orgasm play, bondage, as well as nearly everything else on the list. I could list my interests, but it’s easier to simply say that I probably enjoy everything you enjoy.

Activities I am not interested in:

I’m not interested in involving people who have not or cannot consent. That means public play, children, etc. I’m hesitant to even do covert public play that fetishizes non-consenting individuals. I am not interested in online role-play. Please don’t ask me to endlessly describe what I am going to do to you.

Dynamics I am interested in:

The dynamics that I have enjoyed the most tend toward the more intense. Relationships that center unconditional love, 24/7, as well as more exotic ones. No matter what the dynamic we build it’s important to find balance to create sustainability. For example a dynamic based on humiliation isn’t sustainable without reassurance and positive feedback. Looking for long term means finding ways to keep everyone enjoying it.

Dynamics I am not interested in:

The biggest concern for me when it comes to dynamics is mental health. I am not interested in relationships that jeopardize my partner’s mental health. While I am open to some pretty extreme dynamics I have to know that you aren’t using it as a form of self harm or to escape accountability. I’m also not interested in jumping into a dynamic within the first month of communicating. That’s a red flag to me that you don’t take me or the dynamic seriously.

Stats:

A little about me. I’m 5’11” with a bit of a Dad bod. I am playful and affectionate. Even my sadism is empathic. I have done BDSM professionally in movies for almost two decades. I am a kink/non-monogamy coach. I am working on entering a program to become a therapist. I enjoy cooking, writing (mostly dark erotica), kayaking, watching TV/Movies, and spending quality time with the special people in my life. Politically I am very left leaning. I am religiously agnostic (leaning on atheism).

Disclaimer:

I am not interested in wasting each other’s time. While physical attraction isn’t the only important compatibility test, it is a big one so I prefer to exchange g-rated pictures earlier on. I have learned taking things slow is best so I won’t flirt right away, but I do feel it’s important to discuss more formally what we are looking for. I know I’ve said a lot here, but I hope I’ve expressed how eclectic my tastes are. So please feel free to get in touch even if you aren’t sure we are perfectly matched.