I'm a recent transplant from the midwest to New York and I'm hoping that New York is rife with amazing, kinky people to date. I've heard that a lot of people are disillusioned with the new York dating culture but I'm choosing to be optimistic and hope that the right person is out there, especially in an area where the population density is so high :) To jump right in, I think my ideal relationship is pretty kinky. I identify as a dom and I want a material amount of power exchange in the relationship. I became somewhat disillusioned with vanilla dating when I realized that this was a core part of my personality and that I wouldn't be happy suppressing it. I've realized I was destined to be a freak! (Hopefully, you can relate and I'd love to hear you 'discovering kink' story!) That said, I also want an emotionally reciprocal relationship where we both can support each other. I think that support and empathy and emotional connection form a basis for all healthy relationships, including kinky ones. I want to be able to confide in my partner and I want her to be able to confide in me. I don't view these two things (power exchange & emotional connection) as being totally disjoint. My dominant side is part of my genuine self and is part of how I authentically relate to a partner. It doesn't mean I can' compromise or adapt - my partner's feelings and needs are incredibly important to me and I recognize that a relationship is a team effort! To elaborate, I think the ideal dynamic (to the extent it exists) is sort of a hybrid or a perhaps superposition is a better word. On the one side, I really want to be able to blend in to vanilla society. I want to be able to do all of the normal vanilla dating activities like hiking, dinner/drinks, board games, and (especially!) cuddling. I wouldn't want our kinky relationship to prohibit us from living rich, full vanilla lives with each other and with our family and friends. On the other hand, as mentioned before, I do want that power exchange and structure that vanilla relationships don't typically have. I don't want these things to be separate. I think there is a way to seamlessly integrate the vanilla and non-vanilla parts such that we live in both worlds simultaneously (hence the superposition). To give a little bit of background on me - I am 30, I'm originally from the midwest, and I am currently a grad student. I am still learning how to navigate new York, but when it goes well, I like sampling the hundreds of different pizza ships in the city and then going to the gym to run it off! If any part of this post resonated with you, please don't hesitate to reach out as I'd love to hear from you! I'm also open to friends :)