I’m a firm believer that BDSM is infinitely customizable. In fact I think most of life should be that way. Take the parts you like and leave the rest.

While I have preferences I believe that a dynamic should emerge organically based on both partner’s interests and needs. I am open to and have explored all sorts of dynamics. Some dealbreakers are: rushing, online only, non-romantic, children, and mostly vanilla. Beyond that I have very few dealbreakers. In fact I encourage outside of the box dynamics.

Many traditional forms of BDSM are linked with “traditional values” and “traditional gender roles”. These are some of the things I reject. For me power exchange is a mutually beneficial arrangement entered into by consenting adults. I reject many of the prescriptive roles associated with traditional power exchange.

I prefer a values based approach over rules. As I get to know a potential partner we discuss the sort of structure we both want. These discussions become the basis for the values we share in the dynamic.

Direct, open, honest, up front communication is important to me in both directions. I can be very understanding and self-reflective. I need a partner willing to tell me when they disagree. I don’t believe punishment is an effective or efficient form of behavior modification, nor is behavior modification a necessary component of a power exchange dynamic.

Some traditions that I do appreciate: 24/7 dynamics. Since I naturally take on a leadership role in my romantic relationships it’s not something I like to “turn off”. How far my control reaches depends entirely on an agreement between me and my partner. However, I appreciate the more encompassing dynamics (considered TPE).

What I offer: As this is an exchange it’s important to know what you might get out of a dynamic with me. First and foremost we’ll have some good conversations. One of my favorite things is getting up on Sunday morning and sitting on the couch talking about life, the universe, and everything. I also offer empathy, stability, and honesty. The best feedback I often get is that partners feel “seen” with me. I am kinky and capable. I have extensive experience with many forms of play from bondage to CNC to orgasm control. I have the ability to admit when I’m wrong. I have the confidence to take charge and the humility to know when it’s not appropriate. I’m goofy and have a healthy amount of “Dad energy”.

If what I’ve said appeals to you then I would like to get to know you. Please tell me your general location and what about my post interested you. It doesn’t need to be a long message, but something that starts the conversation rolling.