Tumblr was a treasure trove to many of us on here. It provided us a place to not only post about our interests in private, but explore our desires based around how others saw the world. For a guy who grew up with a moral upbringing based around religious doctrine...it felt like a secret corner I could indulge in without the guilt of my desires shaming me. But not only was it a place for kinksters like you and me...it was also a place where wisdom could be shared.

It amazes me how many tik toks I watch now that feature screen shots of old tumblr messages that are classic. I found one the other day that I never saw on tumblr, but I honestly wish I would have.

"Maybe goodness isn't' the absence of bad thoughts or impulses, but the conscious choice to behave according to your moral ideals in spite of them."

I grew up as the good kid. I never made waves. I never yelled or screamed at my parents. I never got sent home for fighting or getting caught with drugs. The most I ever can remember being defiant was when I almost knocked over the principal to find my mom at the hospital (a story for a private chat).

In all the time...being good never was easy. Being good was a choice. It was a decision I made every day. And to be honest, it's still the decision I often make. Through therapy and some major life decisions this last year...I'm starting to see that maybe I didn't have to tell myself each day I had to sacrifice what I enjoyed to be the person I could be proud of.

I would tell my younger self that it was okay that I was attracted to the bad girls. That just because they had and edge doesn't mean I should be afraid of being cut. Maybe I even would have liked it.

I would tell myself that it's okay to be called "daddy" by my partner. That I have a heart that meant for many kinds of love, from romantic to paternal, and I can be more than just one role.

I would tell myself it's okay to want darker desires because they didn't have to consume me. I could cuddle as much as I controlled. I could give as much pleasure as I do pain. I could roleplay and not lose myself.

I would tell myself I can be dominant without always needed to be a dick about it. That strength doesn't just come from being able to push someone around, but from being someone who can hold tight and not let go.

These are the words I tell myself now. All that's missing is finding someone who wants to see these words in action. If you think that might be you...let me know what you would have told your younger kinky self.