Please go into this knowing that I am a mentally unwell neurotypical individual. I have cPTSD, Adhd, and Bpd. I have zero control over my depressive or manic episodes and can seriously hate myself for no reason. I am trying every day to live a better life but the best way to describe myself is kind, ambitious, and pathetic 😭 I am not looking for someone to fix me. I am in therapy, I’m doing as much as humanly possible to treat my mental illnesses. I’m not trying to be someone’s project I just want to be loved. Plainly and simply as that.

(feel free to skip my story) I was exposed to sex much earlier than anyone should’ve been, abused, SA’d, cyberflashed, stalked, almost abducted, the works. Trauma does weird things to your brain. For a lot of my life I felt like I had no control. I was a husk, a shell, a drone. Steered around by authority figures to understand my purpose in life. Sex was the only outlet in my life where I felt in charge. Where I wasn’t just existing but doing something worthwhile. Getting to please someone even if I got nothing return was the greatest form of praise I could’ve been given. I loved to dominate, I loved making people feel good, I loved feeling needed and wanted by people. Eventually I grew up out of that desperate dark place. I became aware that I was just being used by men and woman alike. I had finally met someone who treated me as a person and taught me what sex should be like, teaching me how to be comfortable with letting someone else take charge. And dear god sex when you feel loved is an entirely different beast and I became addicted to that feeling. I grew up a lot since then. I became a more self sufficient take charge individual in my own life. But having to be independent when you have a traumatized brain has its drawbacks. (back on track bbyy)

I need a mommy domme. Not an incest thing, dear god no. Someone who is caring, nurturing, understanding. A good listener who can also stay up with me late nights and talk with me in bed. Who also wants to find organic love in a world where love feels like a dying concept. I say “domme” but really I still like being in control and taking charge in the bedroom and in the relationship sometimes. But being with someone who shares that desire to pounce on me, to control me, to own me, to claim me. God that’s everything to me. I want to share that passion, that heat for each other. I want us to be happy, healthy, and to love wholeheartedly even if it takes a while. I am patient :) Not looking to tie anyone down right now. I’m looking for a romantic companion not a life mate just yet. Additionally I wouldn’t want to force you to be exclusive yet. If you still want to maintain your sexual connections be my guest! In fact it’s a lot easier for me to enjoy any kind of sex when I have a romantic partner who stimulates a feeling of safety no one else can. If you only desire exclusivity I am too really, it’s just hard to trust someone enough to be ready for that commitment. Trust takes time for me.

My general requirements: These are things I prefer in my partners. Being LGBTQ (I’m queer and genderfluid but very masculine), not being racist or bigoted given that I am a proud poc, not being xenophobic, believing in human rights, being in solidarity with political causes. Hell I am very political 🍉 and not apologetic. I’m a marxist who hates capitalistic corruption. You being a big ol nerd is my last desire. I’m a sapiosexual and somewhere on the demi spec, I need all kinds of stimulation to really feel connected to someone.

I would list off my kinks and desires but,,, wtf don’t I like 😂 I am into everything. Literally everything aside from illegal things. But when it comes to dark, taboo, twisted, intense, fuck it even degrading or humiliating things. I want it all. Just don’t insult me cuz I’m not into that. I will happily do anything to please you though.

Hit me up when you can :)) if you read all the way tell me your favorite book