I’m looking for my forever sub. For me, male submission is table stakes in a relationship; our current societal power imbalance is such that male submission in a heterosexual relationship moves us closer to true equality. Importantly, a power exchange requires that you have power to exchange; please come full of ideas, opinions, and desires.

I’m looking for a person who seeks a 24/7 relationship. Sex is only about 5% of a relationship, but an important 5%. I’d say my main pleasure as a top is turning you into a squirming, gasping puddle begging for release. Some of my favorite ways to do this are edging, CBT, and anal play, though I’m not super into pegging. I like impact play and restraints, but I’m not much of a rope top. I can be very mean. I’ve also been known to enjoy wax play, sounding, and light blood play. I like being worshipped. I sometimes enjoy relinquishing some control and being topped by you, as a service.

Outside of the bedroom, I’m looking for a partner who enjoys service — of my body, my mind, and my home. Ideally you’re a person who loves the idea of bringing me drinks, rubbing my feet, making sure I’m warm or cool enough, and opening doors for me. When you do the dishes, I’ll see it as an act of love.

About me: - 38, 5’8”, soft and curvy, tattooed - Never married, one teenage kid - Successful career in tech - Love languages, in order of importance to me: words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts - Bookish; more fiction than non. I love to read. - I enjoy hiking, museums, live theater, Burning Man, occasional sex parties, and more recently, powerlifting. - I love coffee, wine, beer, and exploring interesting or unusual restaurants. - I dream of traveling the world with a person who’s just as curious about the real lives of people in the places we travel to as the unmissable tourist destinations. My favorite thing to explore in a new place is often the local grocery store. - Delightfully neurodivergent. Diagnosed ADHD, perhaps autistic, though I’ve never been tested. - At a party, often quietly chatting in the corner. - A typical day for me starts with coffee and the New York Times. It ends with reading in bed, or maybe TikTok in bed.

What I’m looking for in a partner:

TL;DR: A kind, gentle, emotionally generous person who’s curious about the world.

• Attunement. You’re sensitive to a partner’s needs, both physical and emotional, and excited to fulfill them; this feels like Service to you.
  
• Curiosity. You’re interested in the world around you and always seeking to learn more. You probably like to read.
• A romantic. You love giving and receiving little romantic gestures, poems, songs, gifts, words, etc.
• Dedication. You enjoy putting time and energy into a relationship and thinking about how to make it better every day.
• An adventure partner. I want to see the world, and you want to see it all, too. A patient, flexible, enthusiastic, adventurous traveler.
• A life partner. You’re excited to spend time with someone you love. You want to do the big stuff and the little stuff together. You put your partner first. Although monogamy is not required, I’m willing to discuss it.
• A patient and dedicated communicator. You want to be emotionally close and share our feelings, desires, needs, and dreams.
• A tough stuff partner. Whether it’s cleaning out the shed, caring for each other through illness, working in the yard, whatever. We cheer each other on through the hard parts and work together on them.
• You’re willing to take on the challenge of adding a teenager to your life as a person you care about, cheer on, support emotionally, and dedicate some of your time to.
• You want to work (a little) hard to make a nice life together. A nice house, a pleasant place, a comfy space, relaxing and aesthetically pleasing.
• A great sexual connection, an electric passion, a willingness to discuss and get creative, a desire to please and be pleased. Cuddles, touch, good humor, kindness, moving toward instead of away from.
• A responsible partner. Someone who takes on half of not just the work, but the planning and organizing in life. You’re someone I can trust to handle a task.
• You’re most likely between the ages of 30 and 50.

Bonus: - You love holidays and creating traditions. - You like to cook. Even better if you’re good at it, but that’s not a requirement.

Realistically, I’m looking for someone local. But if you’re really far away and this is you, I’d love to hear from you, if only to reassure me that people like this exist in the world.

Intrigued? Send me a message and match my energy.