I’m looking for someone to build with, preferably 26 - 40 years old, but I’ll consider anyone I find interesting and who is interested in developing something long term. Domination happens first in the mind, not the body and each D/s dynamic is unique.

About me: I’m 35, male, London based, tall, white, respectful, well mannered, enjoy good conversation and value emotional physical connection. It’s been a while since I’ve found someone who takes care of themselves, knows what they want, can articulate their wants and carries a set of standards, morals and values.

What I care about is your conviction in life. Your kinks. Your secret, deeply perverted fantasies and the act of shaping a connection through expression. Someone who understands that a submissive holds as much power as a dominant. I’m a Dom leaning switch. Open minded. Kinks vary depending on level of trust and communication.

Preferences:

You can be honest about what you want. You are available. You are physically active and enjoy nature. You have a creative mind. You’re an effective communicator. You are loyal and emotionally mature. You are interested in self improvement. You are a realist with a streak of optimism. You value your own company. You are caring and thoughtful. You have a dark, sadistic but caring side. You can be affectionate. You can show vulnerability. You know right from wrong. You have wit and sense of humour. You have layers to your personality. You are professional minded. You smile. You read. You encourage. You can challenge your own ideas and mine. You think about sex more than you should. You have good hygiene. There’s a side of you that desires a match. You want to learn and support each other. English doesn’t have to be your first language.

By the time we finally meet in person, we will have shared intimacies deeper than many lovers. We will have written to one another extensively: extravagant, detailed descriptions of our innermost wants and needs, the things which we have been too ashamed yet to try. We will have compared lists of our naughty acts. Discussed sexual histories. We will have discussed moments of intimacy with previous lovers.

We will have found one another not through random chance, but through rigorous selection. Before we agree to meet, each of us shrugged off a shower of ardent messages from other would-be lovers – those with whom we didn’t align. When the time arrives we are not eyes meeting across a room as strangers. We are not falling into one another’s arms by accident. We are meeting intentionally, having explored some of the most intimate parts of one another and found them pleasing, fitting, worthy of the time, effort and examination.

So, by the time we do finally meet in the sunshine at a cafe in London or somewhere equivalent, it barely feels as though we’re strangers. There is a sense of surprise, anticipation. Ah. Here he is in person. Here she is in person. Strange to find ourselves this close, after weeks of speaking from a distance. But here we are. Meeting. A date, of sorts, although – as we sit down eye-to-eye, closer than we’ve even been before – it feels as though we’re already lovers. I’m a strong believer that if you focus on the mind first, the body will follow.

If you’ve read this far, thank you.

If this speaks to you, please share what interests you about this post and tell me why you think we could be compatible. Most importantly please reply with a brief introduction about yourself and what you are passionate about in life, your experience with kink, and anything in between.