Hello community,

I don't traditionally meet women online, in the past I have used dating apps and even BDSM dating sites like Fetlife to have dates or short term relationships, but primarily all of my long term relationships have really come from the traditional sense of approaching a woman in real life, starting up conversation and dating in a organic way. However in my area I can't say I have been able to find the right person and right relationship dynamic that I have been looking for. So I say all that to say this I am not sure that this will yield what I am looking for, but I have chosen to give this a shot because:

1. I believe in the power of intentions and goals and not just in a woo woo handy wavy kind of way. I think you can only achieve things that you have a clear vision around. This is something that shows in the science as well when you have clear goals and intentions which you focus on you fire up your reticular activation system which is the visual part of your brain which will look for what you desire and bring that to your awareness. So I look at this post as a way of getting clear about the type of relationship I am looking for, carefully communicating and documenting it and as a byproduct I know it will only aid me in finding what I have been seeking.
2. The power of the internet can surprise you sometimes. How often do you see people crowdfunding and changing peoples lives, stories going viral and inspiring others to take action across the globe or the boundless knowledge that sits at the edge of keyboard that the internet makes accessible to us. Lets see if the power of the internet can help introduce me to the woman I've been seeking.Okay now that we have that out the way I will get to the meat and potatoes of this post, the type of partner and love that I am seeking. I work as a software architect honing, refining a clients needs and requirements all day so naturally I have to bring that same OCD level to my search for love lol.

The Physical

A little about myself for some context, but one thing that I ask is that we exchange pics early on in order to ensure that there is sufficient physical attraction so we don't waste either of our times. Time is valuable to me as I am sure yours is too.I am 6ft tall with black hair and brown eyes. I have a tan dark complexion because I am mixed race Asian and Hispanic. Physical fitness is important to me I typically work out 5-6 times a week and right now I would say I am in the process of shedding a few extra pounds that I packed on over the holidays. I am in the process for training for a Tough Mudder type event which is going to be one of the physical challenges I undertake this year. I am a big time believer in chosen suffering and hard endeavors that callous the mind and prepare us for all the times in life when we face unplanned suffering which we all must endure.

Personality Mindset Spirit

I would say from a personality standpoint I am a healthy blend of assertive, motivated, driven characteristics with those of someone who is laid back, patient and likes to make myself and others laugh all the time. I think we all need that balance in order to thrive, working as a software architect I would never be able to last a day in my job if I couldn't be assertive and command a room and lead a workshop or presentation. In the same breath there is nothing better than being with a group of close friends or with your partner and just cracking jokes or being playful and silly. You need the dichotomy of both in order to full immerse you self in one side or the other. That being said the motivation and drive that fuels me all stems from one place...the desire to improve. I am relentless about self-improvement in each and every facet of my life. I truly believe that one of our main purposes for being here is for us to improve and build towards being the best version of ourselves that we can be. I can't quantify properly, but I am a voracious audiobook listener and reader. I love podcasts that deep dive into health like Dr. Huberman or the Drive by Dr. Peter Attia or ones that focus on finances or self-improvement in general like The Tim Ferriss Show. This is something that I am looking for in my partner a woman who shares my desire to learn and improve to be better than she was the day before.I want a woman who is kind and nurturing by nature. She seeks to be my peace when I am unplugging from the stress of the daily world. I'd like a woman who is similarly ambitious or purposeful with what she wants in life. She is independent enough to take care of herself, but yet chooses to submit to her partner because she gets deep fulfillment from seeing the fruits of her discipline and sacrifice leading to the happiness in her partner. She communicates clearly is honest and loyal. She isn't clingy because she needs to fill a void in herself she wants to be around me because she knows that I deeply love her and she deeply loves and admires me so that to be without each other's connection is depriving ourselves of something essential like oxygen to a fire. That being said she also values time away for self-reflection or to spend time with her own friends as well and sees the value in me doing the same.

Work Life Balance Hobbies

I will say that I like to work very hard, but also play hard. I truly do enjoy what I do I get to solve some of the hardest problems that people have and use the magic of software development to do it. I get to communicate with people of all different nationalities, backgrounds and egos and learn to read them. Understand their incentives and motivations and help create a compelling vision and solution that they are motivated toward building and working on together collaboratively. This is probably also why I enjoy the Dom/sub dynamic so much is because at a fundamental level I am trying to do the exact same thing with my partner. I want to understand them on the deepest levels, their fears, passions, desires and then devise a plan for them to follow that is going to be uncomfortable at times, but is ultimately going to further them along in a journey of personal development and see them reap the rewards of fulfillment.

Enough about work though, in my free time I really enjoy traveling. Thats one of the perks of my job is that I get to work remotely and travel as much as I like so ideally I am looking for a woman who has some career flexibility in order for us to travel together and explore. I love getting in the outdoors going for a hike, taking the bikes out for a ride, kayaking or simply camping in various state and national parks. I am also a fanatic of music I would say I have a eclectic taste in music I like everything from old school hip-hop like Notorious B.I.G. and Wu Tang Klan to 90's and 2000's rock bands like Blink-182, reggae like Bob Marley, Rebelution and Slightly Stoopid to EDM and electronic music like Hippie Sabotage, Subtronic, Liquid Stranger to hardcore metal like Have Heart and Acacia Strain I truly like and listen to it all because I think it all expresses the human condition and is beautiful. So i'm looking for a woman who likes to see live music and attend music festivals just as much as I do. In my more introverted hobbies I like to garden, work on woodworking projects (currently building out shelving for my master bedroom closet) or working on 3D printer projects. I also like to just veg out 420 style on the couch curl up and watch a movie or a show together maybe work on a puzzle or play video games or board game with friends. I am ambivert by nature I think I need both of these types of pursuits to bring myself into balance so hopefully this is something we both share.

Values Kinks Vision

We're finally getting to the end I swear haha! As far as my personal values I think I've touched on that for the most part, but definitely a relationship built on love, mutual respect and admiration while at the same time I can walk up behind you while your in the mirror pull you in close and say "You look so pretty I want you to be a good girl and get on your knees and come and suck my cock" I don't think both are mutually exclusive. Which leads me to my kinks lol. I am into choking, slapping within reason of course, spanking and leaving your ass cheeks bright red then running my hands against the redness and puffiness. I like rope play, gags and bondage using straps or handcuffs and restraining you into the perfect position to be my perfect fuck toy. I enjoy orgasm denial and bringing you right to the edge where you are dripping wet, but because you forgot to ask to cum I deny you all the pleasure of that orgasm that your craving. I am a bit of a exhibitionist, but have yet to explore that fantasy in depth. To help paint the picture imagine we are in the park for a walk your wearing a short little skirt that I keep running my hand up while we walk. As people are passing us by I whisper in your ear "I want you right now sweetheart. Lets go behind that tree" then we casually stroll to a tree which is a little secluded, but we are still somewhat visible. I bend you over behind the tree and fuck you from behind while we get to watch as people walk by not sure if they really see us and what we are doing. I have also had fantasies around CNC and free use, but we will save some of those ideas for topics of conversation down the road. I would say I am generally sexually explorative and like to try new things with my partner. I think this Hunter S. Thompson quote sums it up perfectly:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

As far as vision and what I want in a relationship in the future I would say this. I would like to start as friends and getting to know each other online, then through text and video chats which would ultimately lead to us meeting in person. Ultimately like I stated from the beginning I am looking for my soulmate and once we have dated for awhile, lived together and progressed to the point where we are absolutely sure we intend to be together forever then we would get married, have children and start a family of our own. This is the trajectory I am looking for in my next relationship and what I ultimately want to build with someone. If this sounds like you I would love for you to reach out and share a bit about yourself and what intrigued you about my post. If your unsure where to start I threw some questions out you can use as conversation starters with your answers

If you could have a billboard that reaches millions or billions of people what message would you put on it?

If you could have any superpower, but it had to be completely useless what would it be?What is a strong belief that you have changed your mind on this past year?

If you could go back in time and change one thing about your past what would it be? Would you change anything at all not knowing the unintended consequences it might have on the world? Would your answer be any different if you know the change would only impact your life and the immediate circle around you without major consequences for others?