tl;dr: Attached Dom with 6 years experience looking for new sub to mold, train, and encourage.

Who am I?

Like most people here who aren't bots or scams, I'm many things. I'm curious and that fuels my drive to explore the emotional and mental areas of these dynamics. Such as how things make us feel and how I can use that to further our mutual agendas. I'm very detailed and when it comes to rules, tasks, and protocol I can be pretty creative. It's critical to me that boundaries are respected, both yours and mine. For me the satisfaction of these dynamics comes from the trust I've earned and the control you give to me.

Outside of kink I'd say I'm a head guy. My mind never fucking stops so I'm always trying to give it something to do. Reading, gaming, sudoku, organizing, planning, learning, music, etc. I'm at a point in my life where my focus is on enjoyment, discovery, and continued self-improvement. I've done my best to ditch the rat race to give myself the chance to find joy and relaxation. My current favorite youtube channels are StarTalk (w/ Neil deGrasse Tyson), Cracking the Cryptic, and Casual Geographic. Like I said, the thinking never stops lol.

As for physical qualities, since I know physical attraction is important to many even over distance: 40 years old, dad belly, some grey mixed into my brown short hair & beard. Hazel eyes (which is the feature I get complimented on most) behind glasses. 178cm/5'10", white.

Feel free to ask questions about anything I didn't cover here.

Who are you?

My title specifies "non-American" because my tutoring experiences have taught me how much I love learning new things about different people from different places or with different ideas. I don't care about your skin color, it isn't a race thing.

You're open-minded. The fact that I'm attached in a romantic but non-kink non-sexual relationship is something you can accept even if it isn't ideal for you. You're communicative. I don't just mean begging for attention all day but you can have real conversations about real topics (including kink) and aren't afraid to share your honest thoughts. I'll take an honest personality over a faked ideal anytime. You should also be comfortable with it being mostly text during the week with voice opportunities on weekend. Pics or vids I can negotiate on to keep them as minimal and risk-free as possible, but voice is non-negotiable. If you won't, or can't, do voice then it won't work for me. You should be pretty active either physically (hiking, swimming, whatever) and/or mentally (like me). Something aside from kink should engage you deeply and you get excited and passionate about it. Have a spark.

Be yourself.

What does SurrenderInSecret want?

Control. A lot of posts I see on here seem to view BDSM or D/s as a rough-in-the-bedroom type of dynamic but that's not for me. I have a bit of it in me but it definitely isn't what I hunger for. I hunger for control. Making certain decisions for you. Establishing rules to be followed, tasks to perform, rituals to adopt. What you can wear, when you can touch yourself, how you can touch yourself. Read this, wear that, tell me something.

Connection. In my experience the most rewarding dynamics have had a strong non-kink connection that naturally developed. Whether it was the feeling of a friendship or it had a more affectionate vibe, I want to open up to you and you to open up to me. I'm not here for flings, one-offs, or to be anyone's rp partner or kink dispenser.

Comfort. This is more for you than me, tbh, but I want the connection and control to move at a comfortable pace for us. Obviously you and I have fantasies about how this could all look in a perfect universe but reality is different. We should feel comfortable with our progress even though we'll also feel challenged at times as well.

Communication. This is self-explanatory but if I have to constantly guess what's going on in your head or pry answers out of you, that's going to be frustrating quick. I'm patient but you should be able to attempt conveying what you're thinking or feeling as we progress.

This is too long!

Yeah I've seen people say long ads are usually counter-productive. Oh well. I'd rather give as much information as I can to give you a clear picture. I'm not looking to waste anyone's time by being vague or misleading.

When you message me include your age, time zone, and what you're hoping to find on here.