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35 [F4A] #online - Help me figure me out.
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chicanerythebird is a female age 35 looking for anyone in online
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Disclaimer: This may be a strange request. I'm not looking for a partner but someone to help me able to articulate my kinks, needs. to future partners. Someone to help me discern fakes from the real. Almost a mentor? Somebody to vent to and give me tips.

A few years ago, I discovered I was submissive. This was born out of immense frustration in my failing marriage. In any case, I am back on the market but have had a lot of trouble being able to explain what I like to partners and running into situations that make me quickly feel the ick. I am also not sure if this ick is due to shame surrounding my kinks vs way I was raised. In any case, I just need someone to help me better explain what I actually like so I do not run into any more unsavoury situations where I am stammering through my wants, needs and BIG FAT NOs. I feel like I know what I dislike more than what I do like. Which is a major turnoff to potential partners it seems. Also, tips on how to find a kinky partner in the dating world or other platforms. I fear Iā€™m too vanilla and shy for some kink dating platforms or in person events.

For example, Some of my kinks are different than things I just want to do a cursory exploration of (i.e. I kinda want to explore raceplay but how do you bring that up? And my interest in it is more of the control part rather than the race part.). and I am not sure if you tell a potential partner that or do you have different partners for different things?

In any case, would love to just have an online friend/mentor type to discuss these things. Can be a submissive woman or a dominant man. Please do disclose your age and gender though. Any minority woman who are also subs that can help me out would be an extra bonus (Iā€™m black). 35 ONLY

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a female
Age
35
Looking For
anyone
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Posted
1 year ago