Intelligence has been my primary criterion of sexual attraction for quite some time now, but gleefully screaming "BRAAAINS!" at the top of my lungs has the unintended consequence of causing a zombie apocalypse panic, so I thought it best to restrict my quest for a sapiosexual FWB to online spaces. Will you and your luminous neurons come validate my misguided optimism, or do I keep shambling around the place like a Shaun of the Dead extra?

I am a professional linguist, amateur writer, and a semi-pro introvert with plenty of friends but not enough benefits, and as the year draws to a close, I'm on the lookout for an elusive unicorn: a clever, literate, witty, kinky, emotionally intelligent woman who's partial to witty banter, silly puns, book discussions, exercises in post-irony, accidentally deep conversations, and consensual kinxploration. While I'm not seeking a long-distance relationship or romantic entanglement, I want to experience that special connection where the two minds operate on the same wavelength and produce colourful sparks of mutual attraction in the encroaching dark. Perhaps the chance to find something like that in the vast void of Horny Reddit is infinitesimal, but miracles do happen at Christmas, right?

Kink-wise, I'm a dom-leaning switch open to a variety of dynamics. I particularly enjoy rough, passionate, energetic sex that involves choking, hair pulling, impact play (slapping, spanking, whipping, belting); filthy banter liberally sprinkled with degradation and humiliation, biting, spit play, cum play, maledom of many flavours, non-penetrative femdom, cock worship, exhibitionism, facefucking, and group sex. Of course, the three pillars of truly memorable online smut are a good grasp of grammar, rich vocabulary, and vibrant imagination, and these take priority over perfect kink chemistry any day of the week. The virtual space is perfectly suited for trying out fantasies and fetishes that aren't easily attainable IRL, so I'll put down CNC, raceplay, and sibling incest as a curious maybe, but I always respect my partner's limits and don't attempt to push past them, expecting the same in return. My hard limits are anything to do with toilet, vomit, permanent damage, gore, animals, furries, DD/lg, age regression, receiving anal, and cuckoldry.

As for the general interests and potential ice-breaking topics, I have voracious reading (from fantasy to contemporary; Tolkien, Pratchett, Frances Hardinge, McEwan, Julian Barnes, Joseph Heller, McKillip, AS Byatt), indie rock/folk and post-rock (The Mountain Goats, Big Thief, Sharon van Etten, The National, GY!BE), British comedy (David Mitchell for PM!) and intelligent sitcoms from both sides of the pond (Always Sunny, Curb, Arrested Development), films by Christopher Nolan, Edgar Wright, and Wes Anderson, role-playing video games (Baldur's Gate, Pillars of Eternity, Neverwinter Nights), creative writing, European history, cryptography, steampunk, languages, football (of the round ball variety).

If you saw something you liked, slide into my PMs/DMs without delay!