Greetings. Just a warning that this is going to be a long personals ad.

Who am I talking to?

Personality wise I am a cross between Ron Swanson, Phil Dunphy, and President Jed Bartlet. Think mix of pessimistic, pragmatic, intelligent, kind, passionate, and big dreaming goofball. I am mature, honest, creative, hard working, ethical, and open-minded. Physical touch and acts of service are to be expected from me.

I am 32, single, white, hazel eyes, lightish brown hair, 5’9” Midwest build, clean of disease, non-smoker and drug user, and vaccinated. I work out a few days per week, eat well, keep my appearance trimmed and clean, and am definitely someone you could introduce to your grandmother. I am willing to share pictures early on to establish physical attraction.

My dress attire ranges from outdoorsy to business casual, professor to Midwest dad. I would wear a tailored suit everyday if I would not stick out like a sore thumb. I have been told I have a musk of an old man aftershave, suede, and citrus.

I am hobby oriented and have a wide range of skills and interests that keep myself busy throughout the year. I enjoy spending time at home as much as I do exploring a new restaurants or at the symphony. My interests include culinary arts, television shows (working through Deadwood and The Sopranos), music, games (board and video), reading, building scale models, gardening, crafting cocktails, wrenching on cars and small engines, travel, and local and international politics (I am liberal).

In my daily life I am driven, ladder climbing, and ethical in my career path and have been climbing the ladders of my success. I am a natural manager, efficient at my work, and can handle multiple projects and tasks to full execution. The more we will talk, the more you will notice those traits apply to my BDSM self.

What am I looking for?

I am looking to establish the ultimate power couple, with a twist. I want our relationship to be one of well-dressed appearances at the symphony, followed by dark, naked, orgasm denial sessions. I want something where we are driven, forward thinking, cultured, and motivated to be the best we can be individually and together. As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Get action. Do things; be sane; don’t fritter away your time; create, act, take a place wherever you are and be somebody; get action.”

My ideal partner is someone who takes care of herself physically and mentally, has a mind to try new things, is communicative, emotionally stable, goal-driven, supportive, and treats service industry staff with kindness and respect. I enjoy a woman who has hobbies and interests outside of their career, who is open for adventure on the fly, but is also happy to go to the mall and do some window shopping.

I ask that my future partner not be a cigarette smoker, a habitual marijuana smoker or drug user, someone who does not care for their body or mind, has other romantic prospects or engagements, has sexual diseases, or has voted for anyone preaching a white power, Christo-fascist agenda.

I am looking for someone located within Wisconsin or the Midwest. I will entertain offers for long distance as long as relocation to my area of the world is realistic.

The Spicy Stuff

I was introduced to BDSM at the age of 21 and have had plenty of experiences from heavier types of BDSM to soft DD/lg. All of these experiences have culminated in this post, where I am now laying bare my wants so as to catch the white whale which has alluded me for the last four years.

Your experience matters little to me as I have experience with those more experienced than myself, and those with no experience.

This next dynamic (and hopefully the last) will be full of comfort, accountability, passion, and nurturing care in one, neat package. Whatever is formed between the two of us will be original and authentic to us and only us. My attention and intentions will be focused solely on you, and I ask the same to be reciprocated. I expect and ask for regular communication, eventually leading to in-person communications and extracurriculars.

Oh kinks… how have we not spoken about kinks!? They include, but are not limited to: creampie, orgasm control/denial, impact play, insertion/stretching, breast play, training, some humiliation, domestic, amongst a number of others.

As for limits, I will not entertain anything with blood, scat, vomit, anything pertaining to injury or permanent scarring, and diapers.

If any of my scatter brained thoughts ring true to who you are or to what you seek, you are always welcome to message me. I am a chatty Cathy and all messages are appreciated.