Note to Disney's legal department : This post is not intended to imply that Walt Disney World Resorts or any other Disney properties endorse or are associated with low key hedonism.

I'm from the beautiful Sunburn capital of Australia, the Gold Coast and can host/get a hotel/fly to vegas (maybe not)/whatever. Blocked pic is here, unblocked and matzah ball soup recipes available upon request. Full disclosure: the dog is not wearing cartoon sunglasses in the original, this one might be better.

If you're open to more than playing short term the following may be relevant, if not it will likely be but if you've read this far you're probably just looking for ways to kill time right now anyway.

In brief:

I'm typically in control but want to explore everything. No limits except for crimes against humanity. Remember everything I learned about ropes in the boy scouts and having fun with it. Like doing things to other people and having them done to me. For the avoidance of doubt, there is no connection between the two prior sentences. Toy box includes items that buzz, zap, and bind among other things. Also hydration salts from Costco.

*I really don't want to focus on terrible things but it's safe to assume that if it's illegal it's not something I have in mind

My thoughts on relationships / ideal outcomes:

Would like to find something that could become a long term thing. Like home run over the fence world series kinda stuff. Beyond that I know that I don't know.

I've been through enough to know what kind of partner I am, the qualities important to me in someone else, and would love to find someone to chastise me while I build a rocket ship-prince(ss) castle treehouse for the kids. It will have electrical and plumbing because why the fuck not. That said I don't believe you can control who you love and would likely throw all of my preconceptions out the window if the situation called for it.

My thoughts on me:

Have my costco card, scuba license, two roombas, a scooba, musical taste that hasn't changed much since middle school, lights that change colour with the music, and the sweetest dog in the world; she doesn't do dog things like fetch or sit, she just looks at you in a way that makes your heart melt. I really enjoyed throwing a Halloween party with everything set to look normal, pressing a button, and the apartment turning into a haunted house. I have (and would again) conceal fog machines for a prank or ambiance. Yes, I think fog machines can have a role to play in ambiance. I like when I find out I was wrong and am bothered (but take the win) when I'm right for the wrong reasons. I focus on controlling things I can control and preparing for the things I can't. I believe in the power of positive thinking, not insofar as that it's like a Genie granting wishes, rather that obsessing over downsides/what has already gone wrong isn't productive. I have the best zombie preparedness kit of anyone I know and made sure the people I care about most had the essentials.

Grew up playing rugby, like being active. Sometimes I lie in bed with a projector aimed at the ceiling. I show up to football games for the tequila. I usually bring the tequila. I throw out litter I find on the street, I'm not an environmentalist I just don't like it being there. Was captain of the debate team, didn't drink until I was 18, I don't care if you do and don't need to drink to have fun. While out on weekends my sober self is often mistaken for drunkenness. Introvert constantly forcing himself to put himself out there and to do triathlons because I hate running. Maybe that sadism is at the root of BDSM being on my mind. I will want to take you ice skating during the winter because worst case I get to hold you up and best case you're racing me. Also love waterskiing, boating, dive bars, fixing things, building things, and cooking. I don't know if I believe in love languages but I love taking care of other people.

My friends' reviews of/reactions to me: (names have been changed)

"I have a list of things that are wrong with you" -Kimi on what is wrong with me

"You're a loveable idiot" -Tommy on how he would describe me

"I don't understand why you do these things" -Chuckie finding me mounting a desk to the wall in our (then) apartment. We got the full security deposit back.

"TURN THE MUSIC DOWN" -Angelica

"Dil said you use too much electricity," -Phil

"Can we prank him by taking his door off the hinges but leave it in the same place?" -Lil

"HOLY FUCK THERE'S A FIRE" -Stu Pickles (note: I hid a fog machine inside his wall and activated it remotely. Again, got the full security deposit back).

I didn't mean to write a novella but we are where we are. If this sounds entertaining/interesting/you just want to react I'd love to hear it.