I'm 37, in a healthy ENM relationship, and looking for someone who likes the idea of being a degraded, denied side piece. I'm mostly normal, of relatively good mental health, not overly weird about being dominant, just have some funny kinks and want to scratch some itches in a safe and healthy way. I'm generally pretty laid back, so I would say although I have some hard kinks, I'm probably more of a soft Dom in terms of being strict and demanding. I don't want to control every aspect of someone's life but there are some things I like having control over. You can probably guess what, but I'll get into that later.

In line with being laid back, I'm also happy to build something that's a BDSM thing some of the time, and a regular friendship some of the time as well, or something just generally not too serious except for choice moments where we crank up the intensity.

I have a good amount of experience with BDSM. My favorite part of establishing these types of dynamics is crafting a unique experience for both of us. I may have a somewhat firm idea of the perfect fucktoy I'd like to shape someone into, but how we get there is a little different for everyone, and I find that kind of problem solving to be incredibly fun and engaging. It's not really a kink but it's super common to involve this sort of thing so I'll mention I'm very knowledgeable on nutrition and exercise if you want fat loss/muscle gain to be part of the dynamic.

As for kinks, I don't want to write out an explicit list of all my likes and dislikes but I do want to call out a few things that are higher up on my list for establishing chemistry.

Findom - pretty obvious why this makes the top of the list. It's a rarity but I do have experience with it and I'm willing to overlook a lot of other compatibility issues to pursue this kink. I hope this doesn't come off as soliciting, because that's not what I'm doing. It's definitely not necessary for you to have this kink to reach out to me. I'm also happy to just talk about it if you enjoy the idea but don't want to commit to it for real.

Orgasm control - this one is essentially mandatory. It doesn't have to be long term denial but it certainly can be. I also enjoy forcing orgasms in creative circumstances and situations.

Anal - I'm flexible on the details but if you're not interested in it at all, we probably won't get along that well. I enjoy almost everything to do with it but we can discuss specifics in private.

I'm not too particular about age, race, body type, etc. I prefer women over about 25 probably, but if you consider yourself a very strong communicator I might be willing to consider younger.