Hi there,

This post is long. I’m a wordy gal and I want to be clear about what I’m seeking. If reading through this is too much for you, trust me, we’re not compatible. 😉

I am in search of a lifestyle Dom (47-63); someone who takes control in various areas of life, not just sex. Being dominant is who he IS and not a role he plays or turns on and off. Someone skilled in relationship authority transfer, not just “bedroom/kink” dominance.

It is very important to me for us to really get to know one another, to develop a connection first, before moving into any sort of dynamic. Otherwise, it feels forced, fake, and emotionally unsafe. Relationship first, power exchange second. Please bring your mental seduction game. 😉

Because I am ideally seeking my last lifetime relationship, I am only interested in someone in the Continental US, preferably Minnesota, within a couple of hours of the Twin Cities area. I’ve grown tired of the uncertainty and drama of long distance. That said, I will be cautiously open to a LDR with someone in the Midwest or other area of the country that allows for a direct flight.

I have no interest in endless text that goes nowhere, so I will want to move to phone or video calls quite quickly if we have some energy. If we click and cannot meet within the first two months for a vibe check (think of it as a first date 😉), then I am not interested.

I am the parent to a minor child and cannot relocate. There's other important, relevant info related to this I am willing to share when the time comes.

Please note that I am NOT interested in an virtual only dynamic or doing DM play. I need physical presence. It’s a hard no if you are cheating on an unknowing partner/spouse or aren’t interested in monogamy, because I can’t do ENM or poly. (I’m also not in a rush. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. I won’t settle and neither should you. 🙂)

Now that that’s out of the way!

Looking for a mature, established, college-educated D-Type (no switches) who seeks what I seek—a strong, trusting, monogamous, long-term relationship, developed over time and with patience, in which I am owned, protected, and cherished by a loving partner. In return, I will vulnerably give myself over to you, dedicating my time and attention, and strive to please you. We would not be “just” Dominant and submissive, we would also be partners in a relationship that has all of the regular relationship stuff (the good and the bad).

Please note that kink is great and all (and oh, I do adore being taken, bound, marked, etc.), but I seek more. I seek a dynamic that focuses on the day-to-day authority transfer (much of which is non-sexual). I am strong and need someone who can handle that. I do not cower. I think. I ask questions. I have opinions. If you need a passive and demure submissive, or someone who will be quick to win over, I will disappoint you.

The man who seeks to own me will do so most successfully if he enjoys and participates in a high level of mental engagement, is emotionally available (can share emotions, demonstrate empathy, convey verbal affection), has an even-keeled presence, knows himself, is confident, has an implicit and palpable strength, and possesses a need to guide and instruct in multiple areas of life. He also is experienced with (ahem) tools, rope bondage, and so on. “Soft” or “pleasure” Doms are not for me.

As for me? I am a professional career woman. I am flirty and playful, animated, smart, intuitive, conversational, affectionate, passionate, sometimes disconcerted or easily overwhelmed, with a deep need to let everything go and fall into the arms (literally and figuratively) of someone who’s got me. Really got me. If we take the time to build connection and I trust you implicitly, the depths of my willingness to explore with you may be almost unlimited. But that won’t happen for me easily. There will be no kink or meaningful authority transfer before emotional intimacy and commitment has been established. (So if you’re looking for someone to send you risque’ pics or videos in a couple of weeks, run far and fast away from me.)

Physically, I have light hair, some extra weight (about a size 16 with stretch marks and cellulite and all that real woman shit), a wicked twinkle in my eye and, if I am to believe what people tell me, look a few years younger than I am and am moderately attractive (insert something here about typical middle-aged woman insecurities regarding looks). But if you’re looking for a toned woman with perky tits and ballerina thighs, pass me by. Happy to share pics if we start chatting and connect.

(Vanilla) interests include movies, travel, entertaining, dining out, reading, hanging with my kiddo, and advocacy work. I have a special and unhealthy affinity for online shopping, lunch dates with drinks, and social media engagement. Love dogs, but cannot be around cats (allergies).

If you message, please let me know what you think makes us potentially compatible and tell me your favorite ice cream flavor (this helps me weed through people who don’t even care to read what I’ve written here). 😉