It’s easy to say what I want and expect from a partner. We all want something. Most of us spend considerable time thinking about what our ideal partner will be like. I’ve gone the route of describing that, making lists, but in the end that’s not what entices a partner. So I’m hoping I can reach out to connect with someone by describing what I offer.

One of my strengths is my ability to read people. I’ve been told early on in many of my relationships that my partner feels seen. I am a listener. As much as I like to talk I really enjoy hearing my partner tell me about themselves. I have an instinct for reading between the lines and really hearing what is being said.

My primary love language is physical touch. For someone who enjoys physical intimacy I would be a great partner. Whether it’s big bear hugs, cuddles, massages, holding hands, idly putting a hand on your thigh I love being in contact with my partner in every setting.

I am generous. In the past I’ve been too generous. Trying to buy affection I suppose. As I’ve matured I’ve realized that I can enjoy giving and receiving gifts from a healthier place. I can also be generous in ways that are healthier. Being a caregiver and a provider for instance.

Understanding: One of my biggest strengths and one of my biggest weaknesses. I can be too understanding, to my own detriment. It’s something I have worked very hard on. Learning to set healthy boundaries and communicate them while still creating space in my relationships to understand my partner’s needs.

Direct communication is something that I excel at. I am a verbal processor. When I have an issue I don’t like to wait. I try to confront it right away and directly address it.

Last, but far from least is kink. I have dedicated most of my adult life to professional BDSM. Working with some of the most talented people on earth. Continuing to hone and learn. I see two distinct parts of BDSM. Power Exchange dynamics and physical activities. Physical activities can be done as a function of, or under the umbrella of, a power exchange dynamic or they can be done on their own.

When it comes to dynamics I gravitate toward 24/7 dynamics in that a dynamic still exists even while sitting in front of a TV cuddling. I also tend toward the extremes of TPE though I diverge from the typical rules and punishment format. I prefer a values based dynamic that allows for real life, creates structure, and stresses bonding and closeness over rigid adherence. I strongly believe in FRIES (Freely given Revocable Informed Enthusiastic Specific) consent and that it includes room for extreme play such as Free Use.

As far as physical play goes: I am a strong proponent of RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) and PRICK (Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink). I believe the first part of creating a scene is determining risks and mitigating them. Beyond that I am open to almost all types of play. I enjoy play at every intensity level from a light spanking to heavy psychological mindfuckery and physical torture. I believe that physical play IS psychological when done well. I have experience with a broad spectrum of play.

What one can expect if one chooses to engage with me is a balance of extremes. I am extremely loving as well as extremely kinky/sadistic when appropriate. I live to create worlds for my partner to exist in outside of convention. I also offer a home and four very adorable cats. I’m 5’11” with a dad bod. I’m into cooking and having intellectual conversations. My political views are far left. If you’re curious about anything please ask.