I think everyone reading this post can recall a time when they realized they might be into something less…conventional. You might have spent too long staring at the ropes and chains in Home Depot, or you felt a shiver down your spine when you came into contact with some leather that was just the right texture. For me, that feeling opened up a world that has explained every one of my desires. I want to tell the story about how I first discovered that a Dominant / submissive relationship is what I need in my life, although I didn’t have the proper words for it at the time. Hopefully, this will give you some insight into me, and if you make it until the end, you can see if we’d be compatible - as friends, or partners within a dynamic.

Like many people in the Gen Z or Millennial generations, my first exposure to kink was through shitty fanfiction. I know, not the most informative medium in the world. But, it was a sure fire way for me to discover exactly what I’m into. I can’t even remember which characters this story was about, but I do recall, clear as day, it began with the dominant one calling the other into their shared bedroom. The submissive character was ordered to strip, kneel, and lower their head in respect. The Dominant explained why the submissive was to be punished, in what the author described as a “clear, stern voice.” I’d never heard of anything like that before, and my cheeks grew hot at the thought. I wondered why being punished, a word I’d only ever heard in a negative context, had me so intrigued. The submissive character then got into the lap of the Dominant, and was spanked thoroughly. The Dominant would take breaks to lightly rub the submissive’s sore backside, or give some words of encouragement, but they did not relent. The submissive had broken a sacred rule, so they were receiving the consequence they deserved. I’ll admit, as hot-and-bothered this story made me, I almost stopped reading there. I liked the thought of being held accountable in that way, of being overpowered on someone’s knee, but I wasn’t open to the idea of to just…hurting. However, when the Dominant pulled the crying, shaking submissive into their lap, petting their hair, and whispering sweet nothings into their ear, I knew I wanted to recreate this exact scene with someone one day.

Those thoughts of spanking, punishments, rules, kneeling, etc. flooded my brain for weeks. I’d fantasize about those things happening to me every night before bed. I think the point of no return was when I googled something ridiculous like “Adults spanking each other, but not abusively?” and was finally introduced to the world of BDSM, which I have yet to leave since. Now, after about a year of extensive research, here I am asking if one of you would like to be the person to take that journey with me.

A few important caveats: I am not interested in simply hooking up. I am looking to develop a committed, monogamous relationship with someone special. So, the first few months of talking will involve getting to know each other on a deeper level, just like in vanilla dating. Once we’ve become close with one another, we can start exploring scenes, romance and hopefully creating a beautiful dynamic together.

I want the relationship to involve a lot of what I explained above- stern, yet caring domination. We’d create rules and routines for me to follow, as well as punishments if I step out of line. I’ll need active, daily communication at this stage. I’d also like for you to make most minor decisions for me, such as what I should wear, how I should do my hair, etc. In my limited experience, I find that the best way to get into a submissive headspace is for me to have as little agency as possible throughout my day. (After thorough discussions of limits, consent and all that.) Also, even though I just spent two paragraphs explaining the depths at which I’d enjoy being punished with a spanking, I do really enjoy praise, and that would be another key motivator for me.

Now, a little bit about me as a person, rather than a sub. I’m a university student, and soon-to-be intern. I’m passionate about social change and volunteering in my community. I also love romance novels, any creative hobby related to fashion, and Taylor Swift. (Like, really, really love Taylor Swift.) If you don’t know a lot about her, you soon will after speaking with me for a few days.

Anyway, I hope this post spoke to someone! If I’m not your type, but I sound like the kind of person you’d like to get to know platonically, don’t hesitate to reach out. I need more friends in the BDSM community!

However, if I do seem like your type, I’m incredibly excited to hear from you.