I’ve lived large, partied hard, sown my wild oats (metaphorically), and now it’s time to slow down and find a partner to go through life with. I’ve got a good life, amazing friends and family, a cabin in the woods, a stable career, but I want someone to share it with.

Somewhere along the line I read that relationships are the most successful when people have a shared seat of beliefs, so here’s a sample of mine:

I believe we all do better when we all do better.

I believe Wu-Tang is for the children.

I believe in a thing called love.

I believe our history defines who we are but does not dictate who we become.

I believe family is an earned title.

I believe 'Teenage Dream' may be the best pop song ever written.

‘But wait, pm_me_broken_stuff,’ you say ‘this is bdsmpersonals, where’s the BDSM?’

Fine, I’ll jump into that next. I suppose I started where I did because this part is harder for me to elaborate on. I remember ten or more years ago when I was first learning about BDSM and all the associated terminology and I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to call myself. Somehow I’m back in that place. Dom? Daddy? Soft Dom? So let’s walk through it together, shall we?

I like control, so I know I’m somewhere in the dominant end of the spectrum. I enjoy position training, rewards and punishments, assigning tasks, making rules to help my sub.

I like impact play, usually prefer to use my hand or a belt, but have been known to bust out a crop, or a flogger. Does that make me a sadist? I like using nipple clamps too, so maybe?

I like being the safe, protected space for my submissive. Offering guidance, advice, or just a hug. So maybe I’m a Daddy? I have no interest in age regression though. So maybe not? But being called Daddy both warms my heart and turns me on, so maybe?

I have a long list of kinks (likes?) but here’s the condensed version of the ones I haven’t already mentioned: exhibitionism, voyeurism, lingerie, orgasm control, cuckqueans, roleplay, others that i’m blanking on right now but I’m open to lots so feel free to ask about anything specific that gets you going.

So I think that brings me to you. What am I looking for other than someone that identifies with some or all of the above?

Someone confident, comfortable in their own skin, who has their own ambitions, dreams, goals. Someone who's extroverted but appreciates a quiet night at home with a good book. Someone that embraces the city life but appreciates the middle of nowhere. Someone who can both give and take, someone sweet and caring who also sends me the filthiest texts during the day about what we’re going to do at night. Life’s about balance, right?

I suspect that this would work best if you’re in the 28-45 range (although if you’re outside of that feel free to message, I’m not discounting the possibility), on the skinny to average side of things, and preferably reasonably local to the Minneapolis area (again, if you’re not, but think we’re a good match reach out).

Last things last, some details are in order. I’m 39, tall, in decent shape, have glasses, a beard, and long hair (for now), single, and really looking forward to hearing from you.