This is quiet long and I'm so sorry. Ye have been warned. All who enter here must read! horrified gasp

Up front: I am looking for a LTR with dynamic involved. Maybe not daily, maybe not all the time, but definitely involved. I do have an age range (25-50) and I'll be legit and say the high is because it seems strange to be with some older than my parents 😅 I'm okay starting online, but I'd like to be able to transfer to IRL

The About Me Section: I'm a tomboy and maybe a little rough around the edges because of that. I was totally that girl who flung my bra out the window on the way to school because it was so uncomfortable. Said bra is now my best friend and I weep at how many training bras ended up in the ditch. I was so young and dumb😂 I laugh a lot, laugh loudly, and generally am into any excuse for shenanigans and fun. Whether those shenanigans be watergun fights in the front yard or a mud slinging contest, I will be there to have a blast and make the best of it. I have a personal hatred for silence. It's terrible and I can't sleep in a quiet room. I listen to Critical Roll for HOURS on end and badly dance to whatever Spotify thinks is cool to fill that silence. Although, I did just find this artist on YouTube that remixes nature sounds with music and it's hauntingly pretty.

I also just got back from an Renaissance festival and nearly had a heat stroke during the josting tournament because I was too busy screaming my head off to breathe and drink water. My knight definitely didn't win, but I did get a cool necklace!

I'm a massive reader and can usually be found sitting in weird positions (usually for the comfort of my dogs, who don't understand space or mass. I'm still unsure how a 13# dog can take up 2 couch cushions) and reading. I'll read almost anything, but do have a soft spot for sci-fi and YA fiction. Werewolves, vampires, and fairies are my bread and butter. There's just something so ridiculous reading about really really dumb teenagers in a fantasy setting make alllll the wrong decisions.

When I'm not reading, I love to go hiking with my dogs. They're a big part of my life and I try and make their lives as awesome as they make mine. Sometimes, a quick lil walk around the park is enough. Annnd sometimes we're 12 miles into a hike and the little dog is in my backpack because his tiny leggies can only walk so far. I'm a big camper too and usually go in a tent so I can stare at the stars at night and listen to all the birds sing me awake. I don't think anything actually beats that view and soundtrack (although I did recently get to hear a hummingbird snore! That was pretty cool, I'm not even gonna lie).

Time for the legit shit: I'm a pretty firm believer in the idea the goodness is inate. Bad things and people exist, but something good is always following or precending. I'm definitely a "stand in the rain to see the rainbow" type of person and that bleeds overs into the people I surround myself with. I genuinely think that humanity, nature, existence is good and I am desperately waving tokens of affection at them all. Buuutttt I temper those ideaologies with a pretty brunt and brutal truth: I'm owed nothing and sometimes shit sucks 🤷‍♀️

I tend to believe that affection, words of encouragement, and generally being NOT an asshole are important things to do and study. Say thank you when someone holds the door open for you, tell strangers in the supermarket that you love their hair! Humanity is beautiful and awesome and I think a lot of people forget it.

I'm also, unfortunately, one of those people who is a tad crazy about my job. I love what I do and I'm passionate about the field I work in too. I'm not saying I don't complain about it, because boy howdy, do I. But I will say that at the end of the day, I feel exhausted and content and like I made a difference. It's pretty freakin cool to find something where interest and passion aligns and then be able to make it your day job 😁

The Dirty Kinky Not So Secret Secrets: I'll just be blunt here. I'm a submissive and my subspace has often been described as slightly drunk/sleepy. I have a tiny masochistic streak (it's actually pretty fuckin big). Impact play, breath play, bondage (dear God, yes PLEASE) and a little humiliation said in the right way definitely gets me going. I have a brat streak that is mostly all sass and my mouth regularly writes checks my ass can't cash. I adore cockwarming and it's legitimately my favorite thing. If I can't do that, I'm also just as happy sucking on thumbs. Otherwise, I chew on pens, chew crazy amounts of gum, eat gummy bears like they have no calories in them, and bite/pick my nails. My chest is extremely sensitive and any touch is welcome. I will say that any oral stimulation will have me purring and making biscuits in your beard or on your shoulders like a cat.

I do have hard limits and have recently updated them because of the buckass wild shit people on the internet think is cool. They are as follows: Scat, blood/knife play, permanent marks, rape play, and anything dealing with animals. Although I enjoy breathe play, it's a hard limit to be choked into unconsciousness.

Since you've made it this far: I have very long blonde hair, nearly to my tail bone. It's long enough that it got shut in a door at work. I saw my life flash before my eyes and was stuck for several minutes until my coworkers stopped laughing and freed me. I've got blue eyes, glasses (which I definitely need or I will full on Velma it), and I am a tad fluffy. General mom bod type style here.

I have other ads posted and you can totally read them if you'd like. I will ask that if you're interested, please please please, start a conversation with me. That doesn't mean "hey". Let's batter. I'll talk about aliens, flowers, dirt for god's sake! Tell me about yourself or just tell me the coolest, most random fact you know. I don't care. I just don't want a inbox full of single words and dick pics.